When I Was Your Man
by jugglequeen
Summary: When you regret decisions you once made in your life, it's not always easy to come to terms with the present. Sometimes, only facing the reality can bring you back into the now and then.
1. Decisions Regretted

**Author's Note:** I was inspired to this story by the song "When I Was Your Man" by Bruno Mars. Every time I listened to it I thought that it could also be a nice title for a WTB? story. The chorus goes like this -

_Too young, too dumb, to realize  
__that I should've bought you flowers  
__and held your hand.  
__Should've gave you all my hours  
__when I had the chance.  
__Take you to every party  
__'cause all you wanted to do was dance.  
__Now my baby's dancing  
__but she's dancing with another man._

I can only recommend to listen to that song before reading the story. You'll find it on YouTube and Vimeo and lots of other sites. It will get you into the right mood for the story; just imagine Tony singing instead of Bruno Mars.

**Disclaimer:** None of the WTB? characters belong to me, no copyright violation intended.

* * *

**_DECISIONS REGRETTED_**

Tony was sitting in his car, a silver Lexus. The days of driving a cool, black Jeep were long over. He had turned 50 and was a grandfather. The shoulder, which had been so badly injured during his pro years as a ballplayer for the St. Louis Cardinals, was giving him pain repeatedly, he had undergone knee surgery, and he needed reading glasses. But he was in pretty good shape; his body was lean, his muscles toned, and he could still easily run 15 miles. Not bad for a grandfather.

Zoe and Marius, his two grandchildren, kept him on the go. When Samantha had first told him she was pregnant Tony didn't know what to think about it. He adored children and had always been looking forward to becoming a grandfather, but not so soon. He had just turned 43, an age to still have children of his own, when his daughter had put the little rosy bundle into his arms, saying, "Meet Zoe, Grandpa, your granddaughter", with a blissful smile on her face. Now, Zoe was seven years old and the apple of his eye. Marius had been born only one and half years later; his little baby had been a mother of two at the age of just 23. Unfortunately, her marriage hadn't survived the early parenthood. Her husband Hank and she had worn themselves out with taking care of two crying babies, earning the family income, and working for their respective careers. Hank had been a gifted but rather unsuccessful puppeteer. He was hardly able to flush any money into the family funds, so he had been looking after the kids while Sam had worked as a free-lance journalist for the local newspaper. Her job hadn't been a reliable source of income either, so money had been a constant issue in the marriage. It had finally split them apart, for both had been dissatisfied and had held the other responsible for it. So eventually, when the kids had been four and three, they had gotten a divorce. With the help of her father, who had served as a babysitter whenever necessary, Sam had managed her life as a single working mom. After two years of only focussing on her children and work, not caring about men at all, she had made the acquaintance of Adrian, a likeable and affectionate bookseller in his mid-thirties. They were dating since then and had even already talked about marriage and adding more children to the family. Tony for his part was happy that Sam had found someone to share her life with again. He of all people knew how hard it was to raise little children without the help of another parent. Finding Angela had been a stroke of luck, not only with respect to the matter of raising Sam but also with respect to his very own well-being.

Tony checked his watch again, he was half an hour early. It was a sunny spring Saturday afternoon, actually a bit too warm for the season but perfect for the occasion. The pictures would come out great. He thought back to the day he had learned about what would be happening on this particular day. He had come home late - he lectured on history at a New Jersey college - and had routinely emptied the letter box. As always, he had carelessly thrown everything on the table and had taken an after-work beer out of the fridge first. Then he had sat down at the table and had browsed through the contents of the letter box which like always had consisted mainly of junk mail. But suddenly an extraordinary envelope had caught his eye; it was made of creme-white thick vat paper and the address had been skillfully written in calligraphy. He had turned the envelope around to get a clue of the sender but there was nothing to be read on the back. So he had ripped it open, still wondering about this mysterious mail. In the envelope, lined with golden tissue paper, he had found a folded card and on its face he had pictured two entwined golden circles. A wedding invitation? By then, his curiosity had been aroused. Who would invite him to a wedding? He hadn't known any couples with wedding plans at that time. So he had opened the folded card and the first name he had made out was that of 'Jonathan Bower'. Tony's heart had leaped for joy. He had been happy for him, for Jonathan hadn't been very lucky with his prior relationships, but now he had finally found his perfect match.

Then Tony had read the rest of the invitation and his heart had skipped a beat.

_MR. AND MRS. ALLEN COOMBS_  
_REQUEST THE HONOR OF YOUR PRESENCE _  
_AT THE MARRIAGE OF THEIR DAUGHTER_

_**Haley Anne Coombs** TO **Jonathan Robert Bower**_

_SON OF MR. AND MRS. TYLER ROLLAND_  
_AND MR. AND MRS. MICHAEL BOWER_

_SATURDAY, FIFTEENTH OF APRIL _  
_TWO THOUSAND AND ONE_  
_FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON_

_ST. JOHN'S PROTESTANT EPISCOPAL CHURCH_  
_628, MAIN STREET_  
_FAIRFIELD, CONNECTICUT_

_DINNER RECEPTION TO FOLLOW_

It had been a very formal invitation but that was not the reason for the instant pain in his chest. It was the name of the groom's mother, ... Mrs. Tyler Rolland!

* * *

Tony checked his watch again and tightened his bow tie. His tuxedo still fit him, he only needed a new shirt and a pair of black leather shoes for the wedding. He was excited but also a bit tense. He hadn't seen Angela for five years now. The last time had been at Marius' baptism in 1996. Sam considered Angela to be the grandmother of her children just like he was their grandfather. So she had always been part of these family celebrations, only that they hadn't lived as a family anymore by then. After they had broken up, after the love of his life had been in shambles, Tony had left his home for almost ten years, had moved out of Oak Hills Drive, and had relocated close to the college where he had been working at the time. Five years without her. It had been five dreadful and miserable years, full of solitude and regret for Tony.

When time had still been blissful and carefree they had become a couple despite him being still a student. His plan had been to wait until he graduated but one day Angela had taken the life-changing first step and had declared her love to him. She had it inscribed on the back of a watch but still, it had been more forward than he had ever been during their seven-year friendship. He knew that if he had turned her down in this very situation - like he had done about a year earlier in Jamaica - he would've lost her for ever and that had been a bigger fear than being in a relationship with a woman who also was his boss.

After he had graduated, it hadn't been easy to find a job at his age as a first-time employee. And although he had been looking fiercely for almost half a year without the slightest success, he had turned down the offer of a college in Iowa to become a history teacher and baseball coach. It had been a great opportunity, but he couldn't picture himself to be separated from Angela. They had confided in each other only a few months earlier and had been enjoying their new relationship to the fullest since then. He missed her on a regular work day when was she away for merely ten hours, how was he supposed to get along with only seeing her at the weekend? So he had decided to not even check it out but to continue applying for jobs in the Fairfield area. Angela had warned him that one day he might regret to have let go this opportunity. She had tried to talk him into going to Iowa to have a look at least, but he had been stubborn as a donkey. He should have listened to her; he had learned that later, ... the hard way.

First his strategy had seemed to pay off. He had gotten the position of a substitute teacher at a Connecticut high school and was pleased about his professional start, although it had been a part-time job with only the option of being turned into a full-time position later on. Unfortunately, this dream of a job offer in Iowa had been floating around his head constantly, and eventually he had begun to regret to have let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity slip through his fingers, ... just like Angela had predicted.

After another few months, he had become evermore dissatisfied and had taken his mood out on the rest of the family; especially Angela, for she had been the reason he had turned the offer down. He had known that he was being unfair, that she had tried to persuade him to go in the first place, but the longer he hadn't been promoted to a permanently employed full-time teacher, the more impatient he became. He had hoped that as soon as he had a job other than Angela's housekeeper, he would feel adequate to her; actually quite the contrary had happened. Even with a college degree in hand, he had only obtained a substitute job. Nothing he could meet Angela's high professional standards with, not even rudimentally, and that had discomforted him a lot. He had felt like a well-kept boyfriend whenever she paid for a vacation or car repair. Even when she had let him pay the check after a romantic dinner, it had evoked a bitter taste, because he had known that the next grocery bill would be on her purse now that his very own funds had been exhausted by a single fancy dinner. And the more often she had said that she didn't like to differentiate between her money and his money but perceived it as _their_ money, the more bruised his male pride had become.

One day Angela had outright told him that he had to accept the fact that she was a successful woman and would probably always make more money than him. She had pointed out that he had known from the start who she was. She had asked him to make up his mind about whether he could live with it or not; for if not, if he wouldn't be able to live with it, they couldn't go on like this forever, it would inevitably destroy everything which was between them. That had been a bitter pill for him to swallow, but he had to acknowledge the fact that his ego wasn't able to handle a relationship with a woman like Angela. He loved her more than his life, just like he had loved Marie, but still, these recurring little punches in the stomach had slowly been eating him up. So it had been just a question of time until the unavoidable had happened, ... they had reached a point of no return. Tony remembered every word of their painful talk as if it had taken place just yesterday. It had been burned into his memory, because life had never been how it used to be afterwards.

"I don't think I can handle this anymore, Angela", he had told her at the breakfast table, carelessly poking the scrambled eggs on the plate in front of him.

"What do you mean?" Angela had asked. She was having a nasty premonition though, because their constant arguing over money hadn't gone unnoticed by her, and her female antennas had detected the negative vibes coming from him lately.

"I can't handle being well-kept", Tony had replied dryly.

"You are not well-kept and you know it! You never felt well-kept while you were my housekeeper", she had said stonily.

"You were my boss and you paid me. That was something different. Now we're a couple, I have a new job but you're still paying for almost everything", he had tried to explain his feelings.

"Tony, you knew from the beginning that teaching jobs aren't so well-paid but you decided to go for it nonetheless because you love being a teacher. And you are a great teacher. You do meaningful work for society whereas I try to sell Americans things they don't really need. It might be more lucrative but it sure isn't more meaningful."

"Yeah, big deal!" he had exclaimed scornfully, "Thanks for trying to sugarcoat my unsuccessful attempts to earn a sufficient income but reality is that I'm only filling the petty cash whereas you flush in the big money."

"I don't see it this way and you know it. We're a team and as a team we're providing and caring for this family. What if it was the other way around? What if you were making more money than I? Do you honestly think I would have the same misgivings as you?" Angela had asked.

"Maybe not. But that's how it usually is ... the man is the breadwinner and-"

"And the woman stays at home and takes care of the house and the children? Is that what you wanted to say?" Angela had interrupted him. "Honey, you knew from the very first day you walked into this house that things are different here. How come you're challenging them now?"

"Because I'm not happy with them anymore." That had been the moment he had looked earnestly into her eyes and from his face Angela had read where this conversation would be leading to.

"You're not happy anymore", she had repeated, her voice almost broken. Not because his statement had been a complete surprise for her - she was a sensitive person after all, madly in love with his man, she had sensed his constantly growing dissatisfaction - but because it had sounded so disillusioned and final. "Is there anything I can do to change what's making you miserable?" Angela's heart had begun to pound.

"As long as you're not willing to become purposely unsuccessful, I wouldn't know what", Tony had said helplessly.

Angela had looked at Tony. Her worst nightmare, the ever present fear which had her made suppress her romantic feelings for him for years, seemed to have finally come true.

"So are you telling me it's over?" Tony hadn't replied anything, he had just hung his head and had swallowed hard. Angela's next question had been hard for him, "Don't you love me anymore?" she had asked in disbelief and had hold her breath.

"I _do_ love you! I've always loved you and will forevermore", Tony had insisted.

"But obviously not enough to convince your male ego to stay in a relationship with me", she had commented contemptuously on his emphatic love profession.

Tony had asked himself whether she could be right, that if he had loved her more, their different income levels wouldn't have bothered him. But then again he knew that he loved her more than his life and couldn't love her any better. He had no explanation why he saw no alternative other than getting out of his romantic relationship with her. But a life without Angela being in it seemed also unimaginable. "Could we return to being just friends?" He had asked cautiously.

Angela had shaken her head very slowly. "I don't think so, Tony. We gave up our friendship for love and now that we've lost love I guess we lost our friendship too", she had answered very matter-of-factly, desperately trying to control her emotions.

"What do you want me to do?" Tony had asked in a helpless tone.

"I think you have to move out, Tony."

Angela had inhaled deeply to prevent her shaking voice from cracking. That last sentence had hit them both like a sledgehammer on the head. And when Tony had stared at her, shocked about what this meant for them, she had explained why she wanted him to leave the house, and it had clarified that indeed there hadn't been any other option.

"You telling me that you can't handle our relationship anymore won't stop me from loving you. I've loved you before you were ready for our relationship, and I will love you after you declared it to be over. What I simply can't do is living here with you in this house as if nothing of this ever happened and return to what we had before. Admitting that we loved each other was a one-way street, Tony, and we knew it. We knew that our paths would come apart, if it didn't work out, ... and we took that chance. How do you picture our cohabitation anyway? Like a regular flat share? You living your life and I mine? Double dating? Do you really expect that I could bear watching you dating other women? I've been through this hell while you were dating Kathleen, and I definitely won't do such a thing to myself ever again. So, ... if you really want to give this up, it has to be a clear cut. I won't be able to deal with it any other way."

* * *

So it had been a clear cut, clearer and deeper than Tony had ever imagined possible. There were days it had been almost more painful than losing Marie. Marie's passing away had been fate; hard to accept, but nothing he could do anything against. Angela walking out of his life, or rather him walking out of hers, had been his very own decision, and sometimes later he wasn't so sure whether it had really been the right thing to do. The irony of it all had been that only a few months after he had moved out of Angela's house, he had been offered a job at a New Jersey college as a full-time history professor. Two years later, he had been given a chair, and last year he had become the dean of the same institution. So he had made a veritable career, a career Angela would've been proud of, ... had she still been at his side.

Tony checked his watch again; it was half past three. So far, his car had been the only one in the parking lot in front of the little church, but now the first guests were showing up and one car after another was pulled up next to his. Women in elegant dresses, men in tuxedos or dark suits, and dressed up children were populating the courtyard of the church. The sun was shining and everybody was in a good mood. Tony had his heart in his mouth and his palms were a little sweaty. How would everyone react upon seeing him? He had been invited and had announced his attendance, so nobody would be surprised to see him, but still no forecast could be made about how all of this would turn out. Not even Tony himself had any idea about what his first meeting with Angela would be like after five years of not seeing each other. The first meeting with _married_ Angela, married to another man.

He remained seated in his car until the entire congregation had entered the church. He had watched from afar how everybody had greeted one another, the hugs and kisses on the cheek they had exchanged. He had heard their joyous laughter and the blissful anticipation in their voices, and for a short moment he had played with the idea of aborting his mission, of starting the ignition and vanishing as if he had never been there. But he had reminded himself that this was to be Jonathan's wedding, and he still loved the boy as if he was his own. He had been overwhelmed to be invited, for after all he had done to this family he wouldn't have held it against anybody, if he hadn't. The moment he had considered to escape from the scene had been the one Angela had made her way from the parking lot, across the green spring grass in front of the church, up the stony stairs, through the huge portal into the building. His heart had skipped a beat upon seeing her at the arm of a tall, slender, good-looking man in a grey tail coat. She wore an elegant, apricot-colored gown and a matching silky shawl around her shoulders. Her hair was up, like it had always been on festive occasions such as this. She was beaming with joy and pride about celebrating her son's wedding; Tony could tell. She held on to the man at her side who was giving her the moral support she needed to make it through the day; Tony could also tell. How badly he wished to trade places with that guy!

Another deep breath and he opened the car door, scurried over to the church entrance, and just made it inside before the sexton closed the massive wooden doors for the ceremony. He found a place in one of the lateral pews where he could hide behind a pillar but still had a good view at the family's pews, and at one member of the family in particular. During the entire ceremony, Tony kept his eyes glued to Angela; only the bride and groom walking down the aisle and exchanging their marriage vows were able to draw his attention away from her for a few moments. She was either clinging to this man's arm or holding his hand whereas he looked at her with a warm, loving expression on his face. When the pastor declared Jonathan and Haley to be husband and wife, Angela started to sob and the man pulled a folded handkerchief out of his breast pocket and handed it to her to dry her tears. He laid his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her gently, and she smiled at him gratefully and ... lovingly. Tony believed himself to be in a bad movie, watching a horrible scene which gave him shivers, which was again crazy because for the impartial observer the interaction between these two people was rather heart-warming than horrifying. But Tony wasn't impartial.

After the ceremony had ended, the entire congregation stood up and watched the newlyweds walk down the aisle and out of the church. Tony once again hid behind the pillar, he wasn't ready to be seen yet. Meeting Angela again, even if it had only been one-sided yet, upset him more than he had expected. He observed how she hugged the man next to her, and how he brushed away a tear from her cheek. Tony looked after them on their way down the aisle to the church portal, arm in arm. They had walked down the aisle just like this on their own wedding day, he presumed. Maybe the man had also brushed away a tear from Angela's face then, and she had looked him lovingly in the eye, just like she had done a few minutes ago. Tony clenched his teeth. He wasn't over all of this; not that he had ever thought he was, but that it would strike him that hard was unexpected.

Tony was the last one to leave the church. When he stepped outside, he was blinded by the light of the late afternoon sun which shed its warm and golden beams onto the scenery. The newlywed couple had already gotten on a 1959 Chevrolet Impala convertible and was leaving the site for the location where the dinner reception was going to take place. Angela was talking to an elderly couple, presumably Jonathan's in-laws, then turned once again to the man in the grey tail coat and let him lead her to the car. She was still having a Jaguar, Tony thought and smiled. He connected various memories with the Jaguars she had been driving during their time together. One in particular; the night after they had declared their love to one another and had desperately tried to find a place to let their physical attraction run free. It had ended with both of them making out in a Jaguar with a releasing hand brake; the malfunction had caused the evening, which was supposed to lead into a night of passion, to be over abruptly.

Before he knew what was happening, Tony stood alone in front of the church. Silence had fallen onto the site, and it had become cold now that the sun was hiding behind a huge, grey cloud. He had successfully managed to procrastinate saying hello until the dinner reception. If Angela had been looking out for him, he hadn't noticed. Maybe she was so caught up in the event that she didn't even realize she hadn't seem him yet? Maybe she didn't care whether he was there or not? Another punch in the stomach. There was only one way to find out what she thought or didn't think, and that was talking to her. He was invited to a dinner reception and he would attend. It was a matter of decency anyway to congratulate the newlyweds personally, ... and the bride's parents, ... and the groom's parents. Jonathan had four parents at his wedding, his father with his second wife and his mother with, ... Tony felt his heart ache thinking this thought through. 'It's all your own fault, Micelli', he chided himself, 'now pull yourself together, go to that dinner reception, look into her eyes, and ask her what you've been dying to ask her for so long!'

* * *

Tony had arrived rather late at the location. It was a fancy restaurant with a starred chef who had acquired some prominence for his innovative and creative yet very delicious cuisine. The restaurant was situated within a five-star luxury hotel complex, and many of the guests would be staying overnight. Tony hadn't been to such an exclusive place for a long time, actually for as long as he wasn't with Angela anymore. He just couldn't afford something like this.

Tony was looking around whether he could spy anyone familiar. Suddenly he saw Mona beckoning him over. He was seated at a table together with her, Sam, and Adrian. They were joined by two couples from Haley's side; two of her cousins with their spouses. Mona had embraced Tony and had greeted him with the words, "Good to see you again, Buddy!" She had missed him too, Tony had been one of her rare male 'friends'; her relationships to men usually were of a different cast. "How's the world been treating you, Tone?" was her first question, "Any women I have to know about?" She grinned and punched his upper arm. So Tony gave her an overview about the last five years of his life, and was only interrupted by the armada of waiters and waitresses who started to serve the first course. It had been Tony's initial plan to say hello to Jonathan and his bride, as well as to Angela of course, before dinner started, but now he was condemned to wait until the official part of the party was over. All the guests were seated at their respective tables, there was no way that he could walk up to the table of honor and engage the groom and his mother into a private conversation. He would have to wait until dinner was over and all the speeches were held.

The evening was stretching like a chewing gum. The food was delicious, and if Tony hadn't been so tense, he would've tried to figure out some of the chef's tricks, but his thoughts were running amok and he didn't really have an appetite. One speech after another was held; first the groom's best man, then the bride's maid of honor, followed by the father of the bride. Mr. Allen Coombs delivered a humorous speech, filled with childhood stories of his daughter, a funny description of the first meeting with his future son-in-law, and a detailed manual of how to keep a marriage happy and long-lasting.

The dessert plates had just been cleared when Tony heard once again the chime of silver cutlery against crystal glass. He moaned inwardly, for there seemed to be no end. When he turned around he had to swallow; this time Michael stood up to say a few words as the groom's father. He told everybody how happy they had been when he and Angela had found out she was expecting. He still remembered holding his baby boy in his arms for the first time, and described his feeling of helplessness and devastation when he had realized that their little family was breaking apart. He apologized to Jonathan for not being there on many occasions and thanked Angela for having raised his son to the decent, amicable and sensitive man he had become.

"Thank you, Angela, for covering for me so many times." Michael threw his first wife a grateful glance and slightly bowed his head, then he continued, "Contrary to Haley's parents, I'm afraid Angela and I don't serve as the perfect example of a successful marriage, at least not with each other." He paused and some people were laughing. "But we have always been connected through our son and have remained friends after our divorce. The two of us, together with Heather, my wife, and Tyler, Angela's husband, want to welcome Haley to our family, and ..." The rest of his speech hadn't made it to Tony's conscience. Michael had lost him after he had uttered the words, 'Tyler, Angela's husband'. It had been the first time these words were voiced to Tony. Until then her marriage had only been a vague idea in his head, nothing real, nothing solid. Now that Michael had spoken it out loud, it had become a reality. A reality which wasn't easy to accept for Tony under normal circumstances, and even harder with Angela and Tyler smiling consenually at one another in the room.

Mona noticed Tony's reaction and gently squeezed his hand. "Unfamiliar view, huh, ... Angela being courted by two men simultaneously. And when I look into your face, Buddy, I'd rather make it three", she concluded.

"Does it show that much?" Tony asked. Mona had always been a confidante, especially in matters of the heart.

"She's not available anymore, Tony", Mona reminded him earnestly, "and as much as I always liked to tease her about the weird men she used to date - present company excepted", she winked, "Tyler is a real nice guy. Compared to that jerk of a first husband, this one is like a jackpot in the lottery." She looked at Tony compassionately, for she could see how painful her words were for him.

"They seem to be a happy couple", Tony noted tonelessly, and Mona didn't say any more than, "Hmmm." She didn't want to rub more salt into his wounds. Fact was that they were indeed happily married. It wasn't a crazy, all-consuming, passionate love they were sharing, Mona could tell, but Tyler was totally devoted to her daughter and their married life was harmonious and full of warmth. Tyler had given Angela a kind of stability and reliability, neither Michael, nor Tony had ever been able to give her, she conceded to her son-in-law, but she wished he would also be a bit more hot-blooded, adventurous and passionate, ... like Tony had been. Mona sighed. If this stubborn Italian macho had only been able to master his excessive male pride, the two of them could've had a perfect relationship. Even if she'd sympathized with Tyler in this case, whom she really liked, and who seemed to flourish at Angela's side.

The last part of the reception's official sequence was the wedding dance before the sociable get-together was about to begin. Jonathan and Haley entered the dance floor, and the band started to play a slow waltz. The young couple looked gorgeous, waltzing in a tight embrace and gazing lovingly into each other eyes. After a few moments of dancing alone, the newlyweds beckoned their parents over, so the dance floor was soon peopled with four dancing couples. Tony couldn't draw his attention away from Tyler and Angela; Mr. and Mrs. Rolland. He was a good dancer, that was the first thing Tony had checked out. His movements were fluid, he had a good sense of rhythm, and he was skilfully leading Angela across the dance floor. She followed his guidance smoothly, never loosing body contact or taking her eyes off his. Tony could see that they were a well-attuned pair, they obviously went dancing regularly. Just like they had done back then, because Angela loved to dance and Tony had known. Now he had to watch another man dancing with her. Tyler had placed his right hand low on Angela's back; very low, as low as only a husband was allowed to. With his left, he was pressing Angela's hand to his chest, pulling her close. They were silently talking to each other, smiling, and when Tyler had whispered something into Angela's ear, and Angela had laid her head on his shoulder afterwards, Tony could't stand it any more. He turned away and emptied his wine glass in one single gulp. Then he stared at the bottom of the glass, numbed by an overflowing feeling of regret.

"Why don't you talk to her, Tony?" Mona advised him. "I think she isn't even aware that you're here. You've watched her all day and haven't even said hello. I bet she thinks you haven't shown up. Come on, pull yourself together and stop torturing yourself", Mona encouraged him.

"You're right, Mona. Thank you. What do you think, how will she react upon seeing me?" Tony asked insecurely.

"I have no idea." And that was the truth. Nobody could foretell Angela's reaction to seeing her lost love again; the man she had loved more than any other man in her life, the man she had secretly desired for many years, then fiercely loved openly in their short-term relationship. The man she had wanted to marry, but who had gotten cold feet beforehand because of the social status and affluence of his fiancée.

* * *

"Hello, Angela", Tony's mouth was so dry he thought he'd suffocate, "good to see you. You look stunning in that dress!" He had always complimented her, it felt natural to do so right now too, despite all the years which have gone by without seeing each other. He had observed her every step since the wedding dance was over and had caught her in between two conversations with people he didn't know.

"Good to see you too, Tony." Angela sized him up from head to toe. "Well, a tux has always suited you." Her eyes smiled warmly at him but one could see that she was uneasy.

"It's been a while ...", he said.

"It sure has", she agreed.

Both looked at each other, not knowing what to say. The tension between them was palpable, but it wasn't anything like the electrifying, sparkling chemistry they used to have, it was rather awkward and uncomfortable. Then Tony couldn't stand it any longer.

"Oh come on, Angela, let's relax! We used to be so close, how come we can't even say hello to each other any more?"

"You're right", Angela agreed with him, "there's no reason for being so formal."

"A hug?" Tony felt uncertain but also odd, talking to her like she was some distant acquaintance. They had lived together for ten years, had been friends for a long time, a couple for almost two years, had shared their lives and ... a bed, and now they were standing in front of each other, afraid of saying or doing something wrong.

"Okay", Angela nodded in consent. Tony stepped up to her and took her in his arms. He was overwhelmed, it felt just like all these years ago. He remembered the sensation as if it had been last week that he had last held her; the same delicately built body, the same warm softness, the same intoxicating fragrance. He could've held her forever like this, which would've been absolutely inappropriate of course, so he pulled back.

"So, Jonathan's married now, hugh? Haley seems to be a nice girl", Tony tried to small-talk. "Shall we go outside?" he asked her. "It's beautiful outside, still quite warm."

"She's enchanting! And Jonathan is very lucky to have her", Angela said while following Tony outside on the patio. "They're going to move into our house, ... uh, ... I mean, ... Oak Hills Drive." 'Our house' had slipped out of her mouth accidentally, but she had always thought of it as their house, even after Tony had moved out.

"And you? Don't you live there anymore?"

"No, I ... uhm", Angela cleared her throat, "... Tyler and I have an apartment Downtown, on the Upper East Side. It's much more convenient, we both save so much time without having to commute from Connecticut into the City", Angela explained. Talking about her husband in front of Tony caused her some discomfort.

"Upper East Side, ... okay, ... What does he do for a living?" Tony wanted to know.

"He's managing the family's company, a manufacturer of medical devices; surgical instruments, syringes, and such."

Tony was intimidated from one second to the next. "Important stuff", he nodded appreciatively, "Successful business man, I suppose."

"Sort of." Angela knew this was Tony's blind side. Not that she had particularly looked for a successful business man, but fact was that Tyler was successful, very successful. For generations, his family belonged to the richest families in New England and his company was very profitable.

"So, ... you traded up, Angela. From an underpaid substitute teacher to a loaded company owner", Tony said sardonically.

"I beg your pardon?" Angela had expected some kind of remark from Tony, but that he would comment on Tyler's occupation so bitterly hadn't seemed possible to her. "You have no right to say that, Tony! You know exactly that it never bothered me that you were a teacher. I would've even taken you as a housekeeper. _You_ were the one who couldn't cope with it, _you_ were the one who broke up, not me. So don't you dare insult me with your superficial and absolutely inappropriate contemplations', she admonished him.

Tony startled upon her vehement reaction but knew she was right. "I'm deeply sorry! I apologize, Angela! You're right. I don't know what's gotten into me." He was trying to lock eyes with her, and when he had managed to do so he said, "I'm sorry!" with puppy eyes and a soothing voice, "Forgive me, please."

Eventually, Angela gave in. "Alright. Forgiven and forgotten", but she remained earnest.

Another moment of silence occurred, then Tony simply had to satisfy his curiosity. "Does he know, ... about us?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Everything?"

"What do you mean with 'everything'? He's my husband, I don't keep any secrets from him. He knows that I hired you as my housekeeper, that we became friends, that we fell in love with each other but fought against our feelings for many years, and that when we finally admitted that we loved each other it didn't even last two years. He knows that it broke my heart when you moved out, ..." She didn't spare him any of the pain he had put her through.

Tony looked to the ground. He knew that he had broken her heart, but his had been broken as well. They had been victims of the circumstances he hadn't been able to stand at the time. It had been a mistake, he knew that now. He had given in too early, hadn't tried to convince his male ego that it didn't matter that she made more money than him. He hadn't listened to what she had said, that she had valued his work to be important, that she had been proud of him, that she had admired him and his stamina on his way through college. He had only seen that the numbers on her bank account statement had been significantly higher than on his. He had been an ignorant idiot!

"Angela, I was a jerk! I know that now! I can't believe that I let my stupid male pride decide what to do. Leaving you was the mistake of my life. If I could turn back time, I'd ..."

"Tony! Stop it", Angela cut in. She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, and put her hand up to silence him. Tony's words had upset her.

"I only want to apologize, Angela."

"What for? It doesn't change anything. So much time has passed since then, Tony. We've both moved on, there's no use in going back." Angela sounded disillusioned and bitter.

Moved on? Tony wished he had. She sure had. She was married, had a new life. A life in which he didn't play a role whatsoever. He for his part hadn't been in a single serious relationship since he had left 3344 Oak Hills Drive. He had been together with women but he had never given his heart away again. In his eyes, no other woman had been able to hold a candle to Angela, so none of his acquaintances ever had a chance to take her place. His solitude felt like a punishment to Tony, as if life wanted to show him time and again that he and only he had to be blamed for being lonely now.

"I want you to know that it was all my fault. I ruined everything with my selfish needs. I hurt you, and that makes me sick. You were the last person on this planet I wanted to hurt. I want you to know that I'm sorry", he tried to explain.

"I appreciate that", Angela's eyes were filling with tears now. She slowly shook her head, intertwined her fingers and swallowed hard. With a thin voice she said, "Too bad you weren't aware of all that back then, Tony. We could've made it, ... it's too late now."

"It is, isn't it?" He had still been having this vague hope although he knew that she would never betray her marriage vow. Maybe her marriage wasn't so happy after all? Maybe her husband wasn't such a great guy? Maybe she hadn't been able to forget him? These had been the torturing questions floating through his head ever since Sam had first mentioned that she was engaged to be married.

"It is, Tony! I am married." Three little words which described reality brutally in all its significance and made Tony's hopes burst like a balloon which had been inflated too much.

"Do you love him?" Tony asked.

"Yes, I do", Angela replied honestly, looking him straight in the eye to show him she meant what she said, "although it took me a long time to trust my feelings. This love is different from the crazy, unpredictable relationship we had. It's a calm, stable, and reliable love, Tony. It gives me security and a reason to get up every morning, looking forward to the day ahead of me. I haven't had that without Tyler."

"Is he good to you?"

"Yes", Angela nodded, "very good. Ever since he came into my life, he tried to make me happy. When I first met him I wasn't ready for a new relationship, and he was so patient with me. He gave me the time I needed and he helped me to heal. It must have been difficult for him to see me bemoaning the loss of my relationship to another man, but he swallowed his pride and waited." Tony cringed. So Tyler had been able to master his pride for the woman he loved and he hadn't. "He loves me, Tony, without any conditions or restraints. He loves me although he knows that I will never be able to give him 100 percent of my heart, that there is this part of my heart, deep down, that belongs to another man."

"You still have feelings for me?" Tony could hardly believe it. Maybe there still was hope?

"Of course I do. What we had was very special, Tony. I never felt closer to anybody than you, ... up to this day. For that reason it was so hard to get over it once I lost you. Maybe I would've never gotten over it, if it hadn't been for Tyler."

"Do you think we can be friends again? Now? It wasn't possible then, but maybe it is now?" Tony looked at her questioningly, "I miss you. I never met anyone I could think of sharing my life with again. It would heal my wounds, if I could at least see you from time to time", he told her with sad eyes.

Angela swallowed. It was a tempting idea. She missed him too, if not necessarily his love anymore, but his companionship. They had been soul mates, and she wished she could rely on him as a friend again, sharing her thoughts with him, asking him for advice, or just spending a fun afternoon with him.

"I don't think it would be a good idea, Tony", she said only very reluctantly.

"Why not?"

"Because, ..." Angela inhaled deeply. It was painful to say what she had to tell him, but it was necessary; necessary for her as well as for him, "Because it wouldn't work, Tony. We can't be friends anymore, I mean _just_ friends. Part of me still loves you and always will, I guess, so trying to be your friend would be like dancing on a tight rope. And I know for sure that I would fall off, and I couldn't do that to Tyler. He doesn't deserve to be treated like that, he deserves my gratitude and my loyalty."

"Sure he does. And I don't deserve anything", Tony concluded disenchanted. He could see that it wasn't easy for Angela either. She didn't want to punish him or get him back for his mistakes, but acted out of sheer self-defense. They had reached a dead end in their relationship, and there was no way out. At least not at that very moment.

"So, ... you're happy", Tony concluded.

"Very." Angela whispered. 'I would've been happy with you too', part of her wanted to scream, but her self-discipline made her keep these words to herself.

"That's good, Angela", Tony assured her, "I want you to be happy, and if me staying away from you is going to help you being happy, then I'm willing to do that." Although these words were very difficult for him, he meant every single one of it. Before this day, before he had found out that she was indeed happily married, he had always been thinking that trying to fix things between them would not only be in his own interest but in hers as well. They hadn't separated because they didn't love each other any more. He had somehow pictured her in the same vicious circle as he had been in all those years; feeling lonely on the one hand, but incapable of giving one's heart to someone else on the other. Angela, other than he, seemed to have found someone who managed to break that cycle, and he would be the last person to make her life complicated and difficult again.

"Thank you", Angela said gratefully.

* * *

Angela and Tony's conversation and their embrace hadn't gone unnoticed by the tall, dark-haired man with the grey temples. He was standing behind a pillar and held his breath. He couldn't overhear what they were saying, and he didn't need to. He knew who this man was. Angela had told him about him. He had been the reason for her to hesitate so long until she had finally allowed herself to be in a relationship with him. It had taken Tyler Rolland countless of dates, cautiously dancing around his admiration for her, until she had let him kiss her goodnight for the first time. Followed by months of ongoing back and forth, of moving two steps ahead, then again three steps backwards in their relationship. There had been moments, he thought she was opening up to him, letting him love her the way she deserved, often followed instantly by moments of repudiation and keeping him at arm's length again. If he hadn't been such a sensitive and empathetic man, madly in love with this woman, he would've either scared her away with being too pushy, or sent her to hell because of the insuperable wall she had built around her heart.

For Tyler it had been love at first sight, for her it had been a long struggle, ... just because of him. Finally there was a face he could connect with the name; Tony, Tony Micelli. He had made his peace with this name only after she had become his wife. He remembered the night he had proposed to her. He had been dating her for half a year until they had first kissed, it had taken another three months until he was allowed to call her his girlfriend, and another three until he had been able to convince her to stay overnight at his City penthouse; but still, he hadn't felt very secure about his relationship to her. It had been like walking on thin ice with every move he made and every word he said. Tyler hadn't been able to stand the uncertainty anymore after a year of holding back, of pulling away, of being patient; he just couldn't bottle up his yearning for Angela any more. He hadn't been very confident that she would say yes, but the tiny velvety box with the diamond ring had been stinging into his chest through the breast pocket of his dinner jacket like a rusty nail all night, so he had undertaken the unpromising endeavor. He had driven her home after a romantic dinner, she had already opened the passenger's door and had leaned over to place a hasty goodnight kiss on his cheek, when he had asked her to close that door once again.

"Angela, I've got something on my mind", he had started.

"What is it?" she had asked, absolutely clueless about what was going to come.

"This." He had pulled the little box out of its secret hiding place and had handed it to her. Angela had taken it out of his hands and had stared at it, not able to meet his eyes. "Open it", he had encouraged her. Her sight had fallen on a white gold ring with two diamonds, sitting on a silky blue little cushion. It had taken her breath away. She hadn't anticipated a marriage proposal at all and had been completely taken off guard. She hadn't been able to keep herself from thinking back to Tony's unsuccessful first proposal and her own kneeling in front of him. Thinking back to the marriage proposals of her life hadn't exactly filled her with joy; her first marriage hadn't lasted, her second had never become a reality. Angela hadn't been able to utter a single word, she had just gazed at the box in her hand, leaving the man in the driver's seat absolutely clueless about what was going on in her mind. Therefore Tyler had felt the need to explain his surprising action, for the last thing he had wanted to happen was her withdrawing from him because of his love-stricken pushiness.

"Angela, I'm crazy about you, I think you know that. I've never met a woman like you. Of all the women I dated before, there never was one I wanted to marry. You are the first I want to share the rest of my life with." He nervously stroked his hair. "For an entire year, I settled myself with what you were willing to give me. You can't charge me with not giving you time. And I'm still willing to wait for you because I love you beyond measures, but I need you to know that my intentions are serious and honorable. I know someone else made you lose your faith in love, but I hope that one day you'll be able to trust a man once again. And when you are, I want to be that man!"

His words had hit its target. Albeit imperceptible by Tyler they had made their way directly to Angela's heart. In this decisive moment of his life, his empathy had deserted him for the first time. He hadn't seen the effect his words were having on his beloved, so he had continued babbling in a desperate attempt to calm the waves. "I don't care whether you want a big wedding or a small, I don't don't care whether you need another year to make a decision, I don't care-"

"Small", Angela had interrupted his splutter.

"What?" Tyler hadn't understood right away, "What did you say?"

"Small. I ... would like to have a small wedding", Angela had announced, still only staring on the engagement ring in her hands. Everything had been evident to her all of a sudden. She had realized that this was the moment to close one book and to open the next. She had understood and accepted that Tony belonged to her past and that Tyler was to be her future. She had been having feelings for him, yes, but if they had been love, it had felt so different compared to the previous great loves of her life. She hadn't been sure, not until this very moment, whether she would ever be able to give her heart to a man other than Tony. Tyler's unselfish approach, his willingness to do this her way, and his loving patience had been the fertile soil for the delicate little plant of her affection for him. This delicate plant had grown into a healthy small flower by now, and it might even flourish with abundant blossoms some day in the future. To Angela's complete surprise, she had been more confident about being in a relationship with Tyler after his open words than she had ever expected. And she had decided to go with her gut, to rely on what she was feeling in this very situation, so she had accepted his proposal. No more over-analyzing when it comes to love; she had learned that from Tony.

"You do?" Tyler hadn't almost believed his ears. "Anything you want, Love!" He had taken the box out of Angela's hand, had stuck the ring on her finger, had leaned in and had shared the most tender kiss with her. "You've just made me the happiest man on earth, Angela, and I promise I'll make you happy, too!"

And he had kept his promise, he _had_ made her happy. More than that; he had given her back her self-esteem and self-security. Angela had begun to doubt herself; why had all the men she loved most left her because of her professional career? What was wrong with being successful, she had asked herself. Michael hadn't approved her ambition, Tony hadn't been able to tolerate that she made more money, and many men hadn't even dated her because they were intimidated by her success. Tyler seemed to be the first man who was able to see just her, Angela Bower, and not the business woman in her, the founder of The Bower Agency. Maybe because he himself came from an affluent, entrepreneurial family, being used to hard-working and financially independent women. If she hadn't been successfully running her own business, they wouldn't have met in the first place. Actually, that applied to Tony too. If Angela had been a traditional housewife, taking care of the household and kids, she wouldn't have been in need of a live-in housekeeper and nanny when she had hired him.

Tyler had first met Angela in his own conference room. The Bower Agency had been one of three advertising agencies to pitch for the assignment of a new marketing and sales strategy for his company. She had entered the room with her briefcase in hand, and it had been all over for him instantly. He had stared at her, had hung on her every word, and had hardly been able to follow her deliberations. Luckily, the decision for an advertising agency hadn't been Tyler's to make but his brother's, who was Head of Marketing and Sales at the time. He would have hired her right away just to be able to see her again. Not very professional, he had been aware of that, but he had never been struck like this before. The feeling had been purely one-sided, he could tell. Ms. Angela Bower was polite, formal, and concentrated on business only. When his brother had proposed The Bower Agency, based only on the hard facts of course, Tyler's heartbeat had accelerated. Ironically, working together had served as a perfect pretense for Angela to keep him at a distance. "I've always been successful with my rule of keeping private and business matters apart, Mr. Rolland", she had told him in a friendly but resolute way. 'Well, almost always', had flashed through her mind, but she had kept that for herself. Only when Tyler had threatened to walk and look for another agency, she had given in and agreed to a dinner invitation. A few weeks later, she had handed the account over to one of her vice presidents and had started to meet him privately on a regular basis. That had been the first chapter of their romance; the first of many, many long chapters.

Tyler scrutinized the man who was talking to his wife. He had asked himself many times how he could've been so stupid to leave Angela. But of course he was happy that he had, for if he hadn't, he himself would've never had a shot at her, Tyler knew, and it made him feel threatened by this man's presence. He still had an influence on Angela, Tyler could read it from her demeanor. Why had he come to Jonathan's wedding in the first place? Only to celebrate with his surrogate son, or to win back his ex-girlfriend as well? Tyler didn't feel so secure about his relationship to Angela after all. He knew she was a loving and loyal wife, but he also knew that this man had left a scar on her heart which he hadn't been able to heal completely. She had never totally fallen out of love with him. Sure, he had been invited by Jonathan, his now step-son, but still, this man hadn't engaged Angela in a long and serious conversation only to say hello after many years of silence.

Observing them hadn't been Tyler's plan; he had looked for Angela to ask her for a dance, then he had spotted her through one of the huge glass doors, standing outside on the patio, ... with him. He was a good-looking man, Tyler had to admit. A bit shorter than he was, but also about five or six years younger probably. He seemed to be in good shape, he had broad shoulders, full hair, and he could guess a veritable six-pack under that dress shirt. But what irritated Tyler more than this man's physique were his eyes; they were looking beseechingly at Angela, with a lot of affection and resoluteness. He wanted to have her back, that much was clear! Had Angela really emancipated herself from him? Was he only her rebound guy until her true love came back? ... No, no he wasn't! 'Angela loves me and I love her', Tyler repeatedly told himself like a mantra. It hadn't been easy for him to win her heart because this man had occupied it, but once he had, she had been his and only his. ... Had she really? Had she ever been only his?

Tyler cussed this man, for he had always been like an invisible third party in his marriage. He remembered the day he had learned about the unique relationship the woman of his dreams had been in before he had met her. It had been the night he had stolen his first kiss from her. He had brought her home to her Connecticut house after a wonderful date - well, he had called it a date, she hadn't. He had been standing behind her in front of her door and had watched her searching through her purse for the key. She had looked so enticing when she turned around to say goodnight, so he had surrendered to his desire to kiss her and had brushed his lips onto hers without prior warning. First, Angela hadn't reciprocated at all. She had only stared at him because of his surprising move. Tyler had silently chided himself and had apologized overzealously for his pushiness.

"It's okay, Tyler", Angela had reassured him eventually, "I enjoyed it. The kiss, I mean", and had smiled shyly at him.

"You did? Mind if I kissed you again?"

Angela had shaken her head and they had shared another kiss; a real kiss, and this time Angela had reciprocated. She had let Tyler take her in his arms, had put her arms around his waist, and had indulged into the sweet caress he had been offering her. Her signals had misled Tyler to become more forceful. His kisses had been demanding and consuming all of a sudden, he had pressed Angela to the door, and his hands had started travelling down her back; a perfectly normal reaction from a man who had been suppressing his desire for the woman he adored for months, but way too fast for the woman who hadn't healed from the failure of her previous relationship yet. Because with her back pressed to her front door there hadn't been a way for her to escape the situation, she had laid her hands on his chest and had pushed him away; gently, but insistently.

It hadn't been the first time that she had led him come close first and had pushed him away the very next second, as if she had taken fright at her own courage. "What's the matter? Why are you so hesitant, Angela? You said you liked the kiss", Tyler had tried to defend himself.

"It's not your fault", she had answered despondently, "it's me. I'm the problem here." She had turned around and had sat down on the little bench next to the front door, crestfallen and embarrassed.

"Let me understand what your problem is", Tyler had encouraged her empathetically.

So she had told him the entire story; from day one, when Tony had stood in her door frame with an insecure smile on his face, applying for the job as a housekeeper, until the last day, when he had stood at the very same spot, a cardboard box with his last belongings in his arms and a contrite expression on his face. Most parts of the story had been the usual stuff, like the slow growth of love between a man and a woman, the passion once they had told each other that they were in love, the pain upon breaking up, and the long process of healing. Other parts of her story had made Tyler raise his eyebrows and stare at her in bewilderment, for example that she had hired a male live-in housekeeper, that she had danced around the man of her dreams for seven long years, and last but not least, that their relationship had failed because of different income levels. He was a sensitive man, able to empathise with Angela and her suffering from a lost love. He had understood that she needed time before she could get involved with someone else again, and he had been willing to give her the time. He hadn't known then how much more time she would be asking for and how much his patience would be put to a test. If he had, he might have considered it to be a mission without a reasonable chance, but he had hung in and it had paid off the night he had proposed to her.

Tyler's flashbacks upon seeing Angela, the woman he had fought for for so long, talking to her previous lover made him evermore uncomfortable. He wasn't willing to hand her over so easily, he was willing to fight once again, so he pushed open one of the huge glass doors to join them on the patio. He just caught the last snatches of their conversation.

"... always treasure our time", his rival had just said.

"So will I, Tony. We had a wonderful time but fact is, ..." Angela stopped in the middle of the sentence because she noticed that Tony's eyes were looking at something behind her. She turned around and saw Tyler approaching them. She could tell from the expression of his face that he was tense, and of course she was well aware what about.

"Here you are, Angela", he said, "I was looking for you. I promised you a slow dance and I wanted to deliver on my promise", he explained his intrusion.

Angela's pulse skyrocketed instantly. Not out of a bad conscience because she had been talking to Tony - there was no reason to have a bad conscience whatsoever - but because the imagination of this very situation had always been haunting her; Tony and Tyler meeting each other for the first time. The only man missing was Michael, and the troika of essential men in her life would have been complete.

"Tyler, ... uhm, I want you to meet someone. This is Tony Micelli, my uhm, ... well, you know. ... Tony, this is Tyler, my husband", she introduced them. They looked at each other, both obviously uncomfortable with the situation.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Rolland", Tony said overly formal.

Tyler offered Tony a handshake, "Call me Tyler, please. Nice to finally meet you, too." Tony felt to be at a disadvantage because he didn't know anything about Tyler's relationship to Angela whereas Tyler knew everything about his relationship to her. The two men forced a smile at each other. There was a short awkward silence, then Tyler took the initiative, "How long haven't the two of you seen each other?"

"Uhm, five years. Last time was at my grandson's baptism. Well, he's Angela's grandson as well, ... sort of", Tony knew that his grandchildren called Angela 'Nana', so calling Marius _his_ instead of _our_ grandson had been neglecting that fact. But he felt uneasy emphasising their quasi familial connection in front of her husband.

"Your grandchildren are adorable, Tony. I bet you have a lot of fun with them. I wished I had children and grandchildren, but because I met the woman of my dreams rather late in my life", he glanced at Angela, "it wasn't meant to be. When Haley and Jonathan have children one day, it will be as close as I can get to grandchildren of my own. And you, my Love", he once again threw Angela a loving look, "will be the most beautiful grandmother there is." Tyler knew he was acting like an attacked alpha male in the jungle, claiming his territory so blatantly. He was a few inches taller than Tony, so he even was in the position to look down on him. He tried to ease the tension a bit with changing to a less sensitive topic than the complicated family structure they all were a part of, "Are you staying overnight here at the hotel, Tony?"

"No. I'll be driving home tonight", he answered, thinking, 'I bet he's happy to hear that.'

"Which is where?"

"Montclair, New Jersey."

"Well, quite a ride. Are you sure you want to drive tonight? I overheard the concierge earlier, saying that there are still rooms available."

"Thanks for asking, Tyler, but I have to attend a conference tomorrow at noon, so I'd rather get home tonight", Tony explained. It was the truth, he had confirmed his attendance at this conference, but he could also easily cancel again if he wanted to. But the outcome of his conversation with Angela left no reason for him to stay.

"What do you do for a living?" Tyler really didn't know. Angela had told him that he had a teaching degree and had been a substitute history teacher when he broke up with her, but they had never talked about what he was doing right now. Actually, they had never talked about him again after she had told him their entire story the night of their first kiss.

"I'm Dean of Montclair College."

Angela, who had only been watching the two men duelling with each other with words until then, exclaimed delightedly, "You've become Dean, Tony? Really? That's great! Why haven't you told me? Congratulations! I always knew you had it in you." In an overwhelming delirium of joy she hugged Tony without thinking, almost forgetting that her husband was standing right next to her. She was very happy that Tony had finally been able to reach a point in his career he had always aspired for. Angela had always given him credit for it, only he hadn't done so himself, but had broken up with her because of a feeling of inadequacy instead. Life could be so cynical.

Tony didn't reciprocate Angela's embrace the way he would've liked to, he only slightly patted her back with one hand. He was surprised and a bit embarrassed by her sudden ebullience. She had been rather controlled and distant during their previous conversation. He pulled back and said, "Without you pushing me through college, it would've never been possible. I owe it all to you, Angela." This was _his _territory, and he made sure to claim it too; the history he shared with her, the things they had done together at a time when Tyler Rolland hadn't played a role in Angela's life whatsoever. Like his counterpart, Tony was absolutely aware that his reaction was silly and childish, and he pictured Tyler and himself opposing each other eyeball to eyeball in a real duel, fighting for the woman they both adored.

Angela started shivering. It was a mild spring evening, but she was dressed in a thin gown and had left the shawl inside. "Sorry guys, I'm a bit cold. Can we go back inside?"

"Sure, Sweetheart. We could catch up on that slow dance if you like", Tyler tried to take advantage of the situation.

"I'd rather stay outside for a bit more, but you two go ahead." Tony didn't want to go back to the laughter and the cheerful atmosphere inside. He wasn't in the mood for small talk anymore. "We're through anyway, aren't we, Angela?"

Angela nodded, bit her lower lip and answered, "Yes, I guess we are."

"Take care, will ya?"

She didn't know how to answer him. She couldn't believe that this was supposed to be the end. As much as she had told him earlier that their time was over, that what they had belonged to the past, banishing him from her life for good was the hardest thing to do. "You too", was all she managed to say. And then she had let go of Tyler's hand, who had already been wanting to drag her inside, had flung her arms around Tony's neck and had whispered into his ear, "Goodbye, my friend." Pulling back, she had even fluttered a kiss on his cheek, so quickly that it remained unnoticed by her husband but left a burning sensation on Tony's skin.

Another short glance into each other eyes, then Angela turned around, took the hand Tyler was still holding out to her, and went inside, leaving Tony alone on the patio. For a short moment he stared after them, hearing the sounds of the merry celebration inside through the huge slowly self-closing glass doors. As soon as they were completely shut, it was dead silent on the patio; an ambiance which perfectly related to Tony's current frame of mind. He turned his back towards the celebrating group of people inside and watched into the dark night. He pictured a falling star and refused to wish for Angela to come back to him. She had asked him to let her lead her life, and he was willing to do just that. Maybe something good would come out of this painful evening after all, and that would be the start of a life of his own. Maybe now that he knew that Angela had moved onwards without him he could do just the same? It seemed as if he had needed that slap into his face to be able to stop looking backwards, regretting the mistakes of the past, but to start looking ahead into his future. Tony suddenly felt confident that he would also find someone to share the rest of his life with. He wasn't expecting another great love, though. He had already had it twice; first Marie, his childhood sweetheart, then Angela, his adulthood romance. It would've been too much to ask for a third chance. But he would be looking for a woman he could love and cherish, and who would love and cherish him in return. There had to be someone out there he could grow old with, someone who might also have lovers past to cope with. And if he had found that woman, there probably was a way to rebuild his friendship to Angela again. If they were both solidly rooted in their respective happy relationships, resuming their friendship would be innocuous and unperilous. If that wasn't a silver lining to hold onto!

Tony sighed in relief. He felt the cold fist, which had been clutching his heart tightly for so long, slowly loosening its grip. He had been in a stage like this already once in his life; after Marie's death. He had buried himself in his grief for months until he had been able to open up to the outside world again. Samantha had kept him among the living. She had been a little girl in need of a Dad who showed her life was beautiful and promising. This time he had to pull himself out of the swamp by his own hair. Angela had helped him by showing him so brutally that she had been able to go on with her life without him. If she could do it, he should also be able to lead his life without her.

Without her? Seriously? Well, he still had to find out whether it was really possible, but he would try at least. With a good portion of self-confidence and optimism Tony went back in to get his jacket. He was through with the event and wanted to drive home. He said goodbye to Mona who gently squeezed him and released him with the words, "Go and get yourself a good girl, Tone. And let me know how you're doing from time to time. I won't be around here for ever!" She had turned eighty last year, and although she didn't feel like it all, she didn't neglect the fact that her life was drawing to a close. Sam kissed her father on the cheek and Adrian patted his shoulder. They would be meeting soon for Zoe's eight's birthday. Last but not least, he paid Jonathan and Haley his respects and wished them a long, happy marriage. Parting, he said, "Whenever you need advice on how to spoil a child rotten and still raise it to become a decent person, call me, Son! Will you?"

Jonathan nodded and gave him a bear hug. "Thanks for coming today, Tony. I know it wasn't easy for you, but I'm so glad you came. I never liked it when people called you my 'surrogate dad', you were always more than a surrogate. You know that, don't you? I'd love to have my children call you 'Grandpa' just like Sam's children call Mom 'Nana', if it was okay with you."

"I'd be delighted to be their grandfather, Jonathan! You've just made my day, Pal, thanks. Congratulations to you two once again. Enjoy your honeymoon and when you're back, we can get in touch again through Sam. Take care."

On his way out, Tony spotted Angela and Tyler dancing from the corner of his eye. He couldn't help but looking at them once again. They weren't aware of being observed by him and acted very naturally with one another, like any other married couple; smiling at each other, looking into each other's eyes, whispering into the other's ear. One more stab into his heart, then he broke away from the sight and inhaled deeply. If Tony had heard what Angela and Tyler were talking about, he would have known that it was as difficult for her to imagine her life without him as it was for him to imagine his without her. He would have learned that deep down she also hoped that they would be meeting again some day in the future. Like him, she wished for nothing more but to regain her friendship to her former best friend and soul mate. But it was better like this. The knowledge of all of Angela's contemplations would have weakened Tony's freshly attained will power to emancipate himself from her. So, ignorant of the mutual yearning for each other's friendship, he had broken the spell with looking away. He loosened his bow tie and left the place with a bittersweet aftertaste in his mouth. Bitter, for his attempt to turn back time hadn't been successful, and sweet, for he found himself standing at the starting line of something new.

And there was one thing he was absolutely certain about - the story of Angela and Tony wasn't finished yet.


	2. Decisions Revised

**Author's Note: **When I wrote the first chapter of "When I Was Your Man" it was supposed to be a completed story about regrets, about decisions which change your life and can't be taken back. Because I hate open endings as much as most of you do, I eventually tried to think of way the story of Tony and Angela could've continued, leaving us with a more concrete and happy ending. So I decided to write this sequel, but don't expect too much; I didn't let anybody die or cheat on a spouse! This is what I came up with in my effort to develop a plot which doesn't leave behind anyone hurt or mistreated. I hope you can live with how things turn out ... just let me know. Enjoy!

* * *

_**DECISIONS REVISED**_

Angela was totally submerged in her work. She was sitting in a huge leather chair behind her desk which was overflowing with papers, charts and storyboards. Her phone rang, she pushed the button and answered her secretary's request, a bit annoyed, "Karen, I told you, no calls please. I'm trying to focus here."

"Uhm, Angela, I'm sorry. I know that you said you didn't want to be disturbed, but I have a Ms. Hollingsworth on line two. She says you know her personally and would answer her call. It seems to be quite urgent, she sounds a bit stressed-out and asked me fiercely to put her through to you."

"Hollingsworth?" That was Sam's last name after her second marriage to Adrian. She had last seen her about a year ago, after their twins were born; a girl named Clarisse and a boy named Zachary.

"Put her through," Angela asked her secretary. "Hi, Sam. How nice of you to call. How are the twins doing?"

"Hi Angela. They're fine, thanks for asking, but that's not the reason I've called," Sam came right to the point.

"What is it then?" Angela was curious, but also a bit apprehensive.

"Dad."

Angela inhaled deeply through her nose. Tony had never completely vanished out of her thoughts after she had last seen him at Jonathan's wedding three years ago; of course not. To the contrary, there had been some situations she could have used him as a friend. For example when her mother had been sick. Her illness had been severe, but fortunately only short-term. Tyler had been a compassionate support, but sharing her grief with Tony, who had also been a close friend of Mona's, would've taken away a lot of her sorrow and sadness. He hadn't even been able to attend the funeral because of an important college event he couldn't possibly skip, being Dean of the institution. He had written her a lovely letter of condolence she still kept in a secret drawer of her desk where she stored dear personal items such as her teenage diary, a strand of Jonathan's first hair, and her parents' wedding bands.

"What's the matter with him?" Angela asked tensely.

"He lets himself go completely. He doesn't care about anything anymore." Sam sounded very worried.

"I don't understand, Sam."

"He didn't come for the twins' first birthday, for example. Can you imagine? Grandpa Tony, the mother hen, loving his grandchildren to bits, said he had other things to do!"

"Maybe he had?"

"No, he hadn't! He isn't doing anything. He stopped coaching that junior baseball team, he isn't doing any sports, he withdraw from the voluntary tutoring program, he isn't even cooking anymore. He orders in pizza and Chinese food every day! It's alarming, Angela."

"Oh boy!"

"And that's not even what's worrying me the most."

"No? Then what is?" Angela was already troubled enough. That didn't sound like the Tony she used to know.

"It's uhm, ..." Sam hesitated.

"Come on, Sam, spit it out!" Angela wanted to know now.

"He jumps from one love affair to the next. With women he wouldn't even cared to dart a second glance at in the past. He's having one fling after another. That's just not like him at all! You know him Angela, he never was like this with women, ... looking only for one-night stands."

Angela took a deep breath. Of course she knew! He had been so reserved and cautious with her, it had almost driven her crazy. If she hadn't taken the first step after their seven-year friendship and had finally declared she loved him, they probably would've never gotten together. Maybe it would've been better, for it would've spared them a terrible, painful break-up. On the other hand, they would've missed two years of a wonderful romance full of love and passion. So, it was okay the way it was. Only that now things between them were very complicated.

"You're not telling me this just to worry me, Sam, are you?"

"You have to talk to him, Angela! He wouldn't listen to me. You're the only one he listens to. Moreover, ..." Sam paused for a moment, for she didn't know how Angela would react to her next remark, "you owe it to him!"

"Owe it to him?" Angela replied, slightly offended.

"Yeah, you sent him away when he asked for your friendship," Sam accused her, "Remember? At Jonathan's wedding."

Of course Angela remembered. She remembered every single world of their painful conversation. Her heart began to ache.

"Sam, I didn't refuse to rekindle our friendship because I wanted to hurt or punish him. I was just afraid we wouldn't be able to handle being _only_ friends."

"Just you, or the two of you? Because Dad would've been able to. He had accepted that you were married to Tyler. All he tried to do was to make sure you remained a part of his life, and he wanted to play a role in yours. He reached out for you, but you excluded him from your life, and I guess he has never been able to cope with it."

"Sam, do you really think it's fair to blame me for all of this? Your Dad left _me_ in the first place. He decided to walk out of my life, not the other way around. All I did in this very situation was to protect myself. And Tyler," Angela explained tonelessly.

"I'm sorry, Angela, if it sounded like I was blaming you. I'm not! Dad made a mistake, you're right, and he's still having a hard time because of it. You've managed to give your life a new direction. And that's great, I'm happy for you that you found Tyler. But Dad has never been able to do the same with his life, Angela. He's still regretting and keeps asking himself the what-if question over and over again. He's chastising himself for his wrong decisions, and he can't stop. He's in self-destruction mode right now, especially with women, believing that he doesn't deserve to be loved because he threw away your love."

Angela sighed. "What can I do?"

"Do you still care about him?"

"What kind of a question is that supposed to be, Sam?" Angela said sadly. "Do I care about him? There are only very few people I care about as much as I care about your father. And you are of them, Sweetheart", she assured the woman she had helped to raise since she was 12 years old.

"In that case, talk to him, Angela", Sam begged, "please!"

* * *

Angela stood in front of the door of apartment 1206. She had never been there before, and she felt nervousness rise from somewhere down her stomach all the way up her throat. She swallowed away a huge lump. She didn't know what would be awaiting her at the other side of that door. Sam's call the other day had left her confused, unhinged, and worried about the man she used to be in love with. She wasn't sure whether coming here had indeed been the right decision, whether it would really be helpful or rather worsening the situation. But if Sam was right, that he so badly needed her in his life and that her putting their friendship on ice had thrown him off the track so much, it would be her bounden duty to at least check on him. So she swallowed one last time, wiped her sweaty palms on her pants, and knocked at the door. As nothing happened, Angela knocked once again, louder this time.

"Coming, coming! I'm an old man and no express train," she could hear him exclaiming grumpily inside. Then the door opened up, and Angela was greeted by a disgruntled man, changing into a completely flabbergasted man the second he recognized her.

"Angela?" Tony croaked with saucer-wide eyes.

"I hear you need a friend," Angela said in a low, soothing voice, explaining her unannounced appearance.

"Who told you?" Tony asked, "Sam?"

"She's worried about you, Tony." Because Angela was still standing in the hallway and Tony wouldn't make a move to usher her inside, she asked, "May I come in?"

"Sure, sure!" He looked around the apartment. "Sorry, I haven't cleaned up for a while. It's a bit messy."

That was the understatement of the year. It was very messy, and compared to Tony's former standards it was unbelievably messy. He used to compensate emotional stress with obsessive cleaning when they had still been living together, this time obviously the exact opposite had happened, ... he didn't care about tidying up at all. This, in addition to what Sam had told Angela, was very disturbing. She crossed the living room hesitantly, trying not to look too startled. Tony brushed some crumbles off the couch and piled up a few magazines on the coffee table.

"Sit down, Angela." He nervously combed his hair with his fingers. "Sorry, I don't really have anything to offer you. I didn't expect your visit," he defended himself, "A glass of water maybe? And I think I have some Oreos somewhere." He distractedly looked around the place.

"Don't bother. I don't need anything," Angela said gently, trying to calm him down.

"What brings you here?" Tony asked a bit harshly, obviously not at ease at all.

"You," was all he got as an answer.

Angela looked at him. The once so strong, impressive man appeared to have shrunk. His shoulders didn't seem as broad anymore and his entire body looked powerless. He was wearing a tattered pair of jeans with a hole at one knee, a unironed shirt and he had a stubble. She had never seen him in a disheveled appearance such as this throughout the years they had spent under one roof. The worries, which had established themselves in her mind after her phone call with Sam, had turned into a valuable fear for him by now.

"Me? Why me?"

"Sam told me you don't watch out for yourself anymore," Angela told him.

"Why should I do such a stupid thing?" He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head passively.

"You tell me!" she insisted.

"I'm fine, Angela. Sam's just a bit overprotective since she's a mother herself. It think she's paying me back for every single time I was overprotective when she was a kid, ... with interest," he tried to joke and chuckled.

Angela didn't laugh. "She didn't seem overprotective to me, only worried." She patted on the spot on the sofa right next to her. "Come here, sit down." And when he didn't move she added, "Please!"

Tony walked slowly over to the couch and sat down, but he wouldn't meet her eyes, he stubbornly looked away. Angela laid her hand on his lower arm; their first physical contact in three years. It made Tony finally look up and glance first at her hand on his arm, then at her face for a short moment. His eyes were full of incomprehension and bewilderment.

"What is it with you and this irresponsible and unhealthy way of leading your life nowadays? "

"What do you mean?" Tony played dumb.

"Oh, come on, Tony! You know exactly what I mean: junk food, messy apartment, unkempt appearance, living in seclusion, not answering your daughter's messages, and ..." she swallowed down the crucial point on her list.

"And what?" Tony asked challengingly.

Angela bit her lower lip. "Too many women."

Tony jumped up upon her last remark and wrested from her grasp. "That's none of your business. ... Not anymore!" he answered her brusquely.

"It _is_ my business. You're my best friend, remember?" Angela explained.

"I obviously have to remind you that you once said you didn't want to be my friend anymore." Tony's voice was hoarse and he couldn't bite back his bitterness and chagrin. He still had hard feelings about it and let her know quite plainly.

"I said that I couldn't, and not that I didn't want to. There's a difference, and you know it!" she rectified.

Tony turned his back towards Angela and walked a few steps away from her. Without turning around he said, "Why bother anyway? It's all my fault, I deserve nothing else."

"Nonsense," Angela said while rising from the sofa. She walked over to him and put her hands on his shoulders from behind. Physical contact once again.

"No, it's not!" He now turned around and looked her straight in the eyes. Angela was startled about the anger and self-hate she saw in there. "I pushed you away. How could I ever be so stupid? You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I pushed you away. And because of what? Because you made more money than I. If it wasn't so damn sad, it would be funny, and we all could have a good laugh." He chuckled. It was a bitter, disillusioned chuckle. "No, no, no. That serves me right! I understand why you don't want me around anymore, after I treated you so badly. You have every right to not care about me. I don't care about myself, so why should anybody else? And nobody does, actually. So why don't you leave me alone and worry about yourself and your life. I'll get along just fine."

Tony's self-flagellation was hard to take for Angela. The way he was accusing himself, not allowing himself any happiness, left her helpless. She knew that his mind wasn't susceptible to logical reasoning anymore. He had talked himself so much into believing that he didn't deserve anybody's attention that no words of wisdom could ever pull him out of his self-destructive mind-set. Because arguing wasn't a particularly promising option, Angela decided for a more vivid approach. She stepped up to him real close, cupped his unshaven face with her two hands, looked him deep into his eyes, and ... kissed him; very gently, very sensitively, very lovingly. It was a kiss of friendship, full of warmth and compassion. To Tony, it was almost like a kiss of life.

He hadn't been kissed like this in ages. The kisses he had received lately from the women he used to be with, had been lascivious, demanding, and selfish, being only the hormone-driven prelude of the unemotional satisfaction of purely bodily lust which was to follow. What had made these adventures tolerable was the fact that these women had wanted it to happen the exact same way as he: no emotion, no commitment, nothing. So he had managed to convince himself that nobody could get hurt. Except that he had hurt himself every time he had been together with a women that way. Each time it had killed him a little more, until his heart had become so numb that he didn't feel anything anymore. That had been a relief in some way, because it had also numbed the pain which just wouldn't go away after having lost both Angela's love and her friendship. Her kiss had been so much different from the ones these women had been giving him. It had been altruistic, sincere, and full of both emotion and commitment.

It was a long kiss. Their lips were glued together, and both surrendered to the sensation of the other's touch. If any innocent bystander had witnessed the scene, he would've realized instantly that they weren't two lovers kissing, but that this kiss was rather a statement. Of what, he might not be able to guess, but the demeanor of the two kissing people left no doubt about its utmost importance for both of them. Their muscles were tense, their backs were straightened and neither of them seemed to breathe. Tony's face expressed astonishment, he clenched his fists and stared at the woman in front of him with open eyes. Angela's face revealed firm resolve, being the one who wanted to issue the statement. She closed her eyes when she pulled back, gasped for breath, swallowed hard, then she slowly opened her eyes again, still cupping his face. She held his questioning stare for what seemed to be an eternity. It was obvious that Tony was completely caught off guard with this kiss, he didn't have any idea of what it meant. They had shared so many kisses before - hasty kisses on the cheek and passionate kisses on the mouth, restrained kisses as friends and indulging kisses as lovers, cautious kisses barely touching their lips and daring French kisses - but this kiss had been like no other before. If anything, it reminded him of the kiss Angela had given him in Washington, after his short little insignificant flirtation with Christine. He had been similarly staggered by it back then. She had tried to show him her affection for him at the time, maybe she wanted to do the same right now? Angela finally answered Tony's quizzical look with a firm but insufficient, "I do."

"You do what?" Tony's voice was thin and weak, and her answer didn't solve any of the kiss' riddle.

"Care about you," Angela completed her statement with tears in her eyes. "How could you ever doubt that?"

"Then why did you exclude me from your life?"

"Because I was afraid that, ..." It wasn't easy for her to admit it, "that I could again become closer to you than to, ..." She put a stop to herself once more, because she was ashamed of having had these doubts.

"Tyler?" he prompted. Angela nodded and a tear fell down her cheek. Now it was Tony who established physical contact with gently brushing it away with his thumb. "I see," he sighed discouragedly. He let himself fall onto the sofa. This was a dead end. Tyler was still her husband and as such at the pole position to her heart. Angela sat down right next to him, touching his shoulder with hers.

"I hate myself for having screwed up our relationship," Tony admitted.

"Tony, you have to draw a line under our romance and start to live your own life. Why can't you do that?"

"Because I don't have a Tyler who drags me out of the mud. You're very lucky, Angela, to have found someone like him."

"I know," she whispered, "I know."

"I wished I had," Tony continued, "I did look, that's for sure. But I guess after two beloved lost, I'm just not able to commit myself with a full heart anymore." He sounded dispirited.

"Tony, you are a wonderful man. Any woman could call herself lucky to meet someone like you," Angela tried to raise his spirits.

"But I don't want _any_ woman," he noted, "I want you."

"You can't have me," Angela wanted to get this straight immediately, she didn't want him to jump to wrong conclusions. It sounded final, and it was. There was no way she was going to cheat on her husband. Not just because he didn't deserve to be mistreated like this, but because she truly loved him. She hadn't married him only because she had no better offer at the time, but because she had been blown away by his unselfish devotion and loving patience with her. It was important to Angela that Tony understood that she hadn't come to resume their romantic relationship; she had come for another reason. "Not as a lover, that is. But if you need me as a friend, I'll be there." She took his hand in hers and made him look into her eyes. "I'm sorry for having said that we can't be friends anymore. I've regretted it more than once myself, believe me. I missed you too, Tony. I missed my best friend, my confidant. I wished you were there when Mother passed away. Or during the agency's last sales shortfall."

"Didn't Tyler support you?" Tony asked a bit surprised.

"Of course he did! Without him, I wouldn't have been able to get through any of it, but you ..." She didn't know how to put the words right, "you would've understood how I felt without the necessity of explaining. You knew Mother as well as I did, and we both would've suffered the same way. Tyler liked Mother, and Mother - believe it, or not! - liked him, but ... they weren't as close as you two. She loved you like a son, you know that, Tony, don't you?"

Tony swallowed, "I know. I loved her too. She sure was exceptional, I never met someone like her. Remember how she set up that wedding anniversary after we had found out that we were married according to South Carolina law? I still have to laugh about the present she gave us." He chuckled and shook his head, and Angela had to smile as well at this sweet memory. "See, this is what I mean. You're just able to find the exact right words to console me." She took a deep breath.

"And what was wrong with your agency? You managed to pull through, didn't you? Tyler is a successful business man himself, he must have been able to help you out of a situation like this."

"Well, he understood that I was worried. He understood that I worked harder and more hours to find new clients. He understood how difficult it was for me to reduce my staff. He even offered to help me out with investing in my company, ..."

"But?"

"But he didn't understand what it did to my soul, that this agency is like my baby. See, he inherited his family business from his father, he didn't have to establish it from scratch by himself. He doesn't know how difficult it is to get a business started. ... You do. You've been there. The Bower Agency is part of you as much as it is part of me."

Tony had another memory, not as sweet as the one about Mona, but one which that Angela was right. He had to think back to the time he had worked as her secretary. It had been a short-lived experiment because he wasn't really good at it, but there had been no doubt that he would do whatever necessary to help Angela out. The Bower Agency had always meant a lot to him. He had been the one who had talked her into starting it in the first place. Well, he had also been the one who had gotten her fired ...

Tony slowly got the point, he began to understand what Angela was talking about. They had a history together, a long history. They had shared so many personal secrets only with each other that nobody else knew them the way they did. They understood one another without talking. They could look directly into the other's heart and soul, and that had nothing to do with the fact that they had once shared a bed. The ability to grasp the other's state of mind and emotional condition derived from their years long friendship and camaraderie, of bringing up their children together, of having been through thick and thin, of having learned about the other's strengths and weaknesses, of knowing the blind spots and darkest secrets of the other. Their friendship had a quality and profound depth only few people ever managed to establish.

"I missed having you in my corner, Tony. You were always there when I needed you, I couldn't cope with the void which was there all of a sudden."

"You've found someone else", Tony stated. He still quarreled a bit with the fact that she was in a new relationship whereas he was all alone. He thought he needed her more than she needed him. He was mistaken.

"But not as my best friend. He's my husband, and I love him, but ..." She didn't know how to explain it. Her relationship to Tyler was so different from the one to Tony. They were husband and wife, just like Michael and she had been husband and wife. If Tony and she had married, it would've been something else, about that she was absolutely sure. She would've been married to her best friend, and that would've been unparalleled. But it hadn't been meant to be.

"But what?"

"I don't know. There are just some things I would feel awkward talking to him about. I could talk to you about anything! I told you stories about my childhood and teenage years I thought I would never tell anyone. There were times I had the feeling that you know me better than I know myself. We understood each other without talking. At least as long as we were only friends. Things started to be more difficult once we were lovers; from the day I couldn't tell you about my anxieties about a second marriage, up until the day we couldn't even talk about what was tearing us apart. We had lost the ability to talk about our relationship. Communication between us got intricate, and I hated it. Instead of opening the communication canals, fighting for our love and friendship, we both gave in and let it go down the drain. And that applies to the both of us, not only to you. I could've clarified that you were no well-kept boyfriend of mine, that I admired the way you mastered your life whereas I considered myself to be born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I could've told you that I was terrified at the thought of going on with my life without you. I, ..." she tried to fight back the tears, "I could've begged you to stay. But I kept my mouth shut!" She sounded bitter and resentful. "I just didn't know how to talk to you anymore. We could've figured something out, ..."

"Enough!" Tony couldn't take it anymore to be reminded of the lost chances and untaken roads. It was too painful. "Let's just say we both made mistakes. But I think I know what you mean with us not being able to talk to each other anymore, Angela. You're always afraid to say something wrong to a lover, to hurt her ... or him, with saying too much or too little, with being either too pushy or too cautious. Whereas you can say almost anything to a friend. Remember when you told me that you wouldn't hire me because of my poor language skills, when I attended that public speaking class? First, I felt insulted, then I realized how difficult it must have been for you to tell me, and that you only tried to do me a favor." When Angela nodded, Tony continued, "You might not have spoken it out loud so clearly, if we had been a couple at the time, just out of fear to hurt me." Tony mused for a moment and a thought sneaked into his mind which he would've never imagined to be existing. "Do you think it was a mistake?"

"What?" Angela hadn't been able to follow his mental leap.

"That we gave up our friendship for love?" Tony asked apprehensively.

"There sure was a reason why we waited so long for it to happen."

"So? Was it a mistake?" Tony insisted, and a certain kind of sadness took possession of his soul. For him, the two years as Angela's boyfriend and fiancé had been the best years of his life after Marie's death. If she considered it to be a mistake, it would break his heart.

Angela thought for a short moment, staring at him. Then a warm smile showed up on her face and she shook her head. "No", she said with utter conviction, "definitely not! It wasn't a mistake. I loved you Tony, with all my heart, and I wanted to be with you. I had yearned for you for so many years, I wouldn't have been able to tolerate a platonic relationship any longer. And if we hadn't tried, if we had our fear of losing what we had guide us, we would've not only missed two wonderful years, we would've also been questioning ourselves 'what if' for the rest of our lives. I'd prefer to consider it a part of our journey. It simply belongs to this unique, ... crazy, ... unorthodox relationship of ours."

"I'm glad you're saying that, Angela," Tony's heartbeat began to slow down upon hearing that their two years as a couple had been as sweet and precious for her as for him, "but where does that leave us now?"

"I've asked myself a few times over the last years whether I actually value our friendship higher than our love, ... now in retrospect."

"Are you serious?" Tony asked, surprised. This thought had never made it to his mind. It sounded so odd. He had passionately loved her, and had always perceived their engagement as the most wonderful thing about their relationship, like the long-awaited culmination of their crooked, long-winded way towards one another. That it could've been meant to be just a stage in their lives had never occurred to him.

"I've managed to live without your love, but I'm really having a hard time without your friendship, Tony."

"Hmm, ..." Tony had to let that sink in. He tried to sort out all the images which were suddenly flashing up in front of his mind's eye like lightning illuminating the night sky: Angela in a pink bathrobe and a towel on her head opening the front door, Angela at the foot of the stairs asking him whether he would marry Frankie, Angela sitting in a swan kissing him, Angela kneeling in front of him proposing, Angela on the day he moved out of Oak Hills Drive closing the door behind him, and ... Angela dancing with Tyler at Jonathan's wedding. But the most painful image was the one of Angela in that beautiful apricot-colored dress, telling him they couldn't be friends anymore. "Maybe you do have a point. When I saw you and Tyler at Jonathan's wedding it wasn't easy for me, I have to admit, but seeing you happy and finding out that he's a nice guy who treats you well, eased my pain, ... at least a little." He smiled. "But when you terminated our friendship, my world broke down, Angela. A life without you in it seemed dreadful to me. I thought, if I also was in a relationship, you might change your mind. So I tried desperately to find myself a woman, just to rekindle our friendship. I guess somewhere along the road I lost the right balance, and when the first two relationships didn't last very long I started to think that I didn't deserve it."

"Didn't deserve what?"

"Your friendship." He shrugged his shoulders, "Anyone's affection." His self-esteem had never been that low. He had been a proud man, quite convinced about himself. Some people would've even called him conceited. But the last years had chipped away a lot of his self-confidence and had left behind a self-conscious, insecure and lonely man, sinking down into self-pity like a stone in the water.

"Oh Tony, how could things go so wrong?"

"I don't know, Angela. I really don't know."

* * *

Tony woke up the next morning after this memorable and totally unexpected afternoon with Angela showing up at his threshold. They had had a necessary honest talk which had eventually healed their friendship. He felt a great deal of relief, as if a long illness had come to an end. Optimism and joy were emotions he had been missing for quite a while, and he was happy to have found them again. What he was feeling right now, as a matter-of-fact, was Angela beside him in his bed, fast asleep. He smiled at the view. If they needed one more proof that their love was over and they friendship restored, it would be this particular night they had spent together, ... in one bed, next to each other, both dressed in one of his pyjamas, having slept safely and soundly, ... without anything happening whatsoever.

Once Angela wanted to drive home the previous evening, an enormous thunderstorm had already come and people had been advised to stay indoors. Driving home would've definitely been too dangerous with debris flying all over the place. Angela had called Tyler and had told him she would be staying over night, not so much to his liking of course, but he had realized himself that going outside would've been unreasonable. So he had bitten his tongue, had swallowed his jealousy, and had wished her a good night. He had even managed to not ask her were Tony would be sleeping, he had just assumed that he would leave his bed to her and would take the couch, or the guest room, or the floor, or whatever option he had, as long as it was far away from his wife. Tyler trusted Angela and hoped that Tony was decent enough to not make a pass at her. There hadn't been more for him to do anyway. He had been doomed to stay in New York and wait whether or not she would return to him the next morning.

Tyler was the only one who hadn't found any sleep that night.

Of course Tony was decent enough to offer Angela his bed, ... and one of his pyjamas. The only problem was that he didn't have a guest room, and his sofa was too small for a grown-up man. Had he still been in his thirties, he would've slept on the floor, but he was in his mid-fifties and his back was giving him problems lately. So Angela had eventually offered to share the bed; just like that night in the motel many years ago, when they had visited Jonathan at summer camp. Like then, they had told each other that they were adults. They had assured themselves that they were through with romance, that they were best friends again, and that as best friends they could share a bed without risk. Both knew that neither of them wanted to endanger the current status of their relationship once again, ... and neither of them did. Tony had to think back to the night they shared the narrow bunk on a train to Washington, a few months before the memorable night in the Love Tunnel of the Brooklyn Fair. Angela had slept like a baby next to him, but he had been so aroused that his eyes wouldn't close no matter how tired he had been. This last night, his sleep had been safe and sound, and he felt refreshed and replenished like he hadn't in a long time. ... Just because of her, because he had her back in his life, as his best friend.

Tony folded his arms behind his head and smiled. He felt blithe and optimistic. He closed his eyes again to doze a little more until Angela would be waking up, when he suddenly felt her snuggling into him. She laid her head on his shoulder and placed her hand on his chest; the hand with the wedding band on her finger. She was still sleepy and obviously acted by the habit of huddling up against her husband in the morning before getting up. Tony didn't know whether he should wake her up or not, he didn't want to make her feel bad, but when she started to wrap her legs around him and slipped her hand under his pyjama top, murmuring "Did you have a good sleep, Honey?", Tony knew he had no other option but to wake her up.

"Uh, Angela, it's me, Tony!" He took her hand out from under his top and laid it on her stomach. Angela abruptly pulled back, aghast and embarrassed. She was broad awake from one second to the next, her eyes wide open, gasping for breath.

"What? Oh my god, ... sorry! Uhm, I guess I mistook you for ..."

"Your husband?"

"I'm sorry, Tony! I-am-so-sorry!" She was very upset.

"Aaangelaaaa, don't overdramatise this! You were still asleep and nothing happened. You believed yourself to be in your own bed at home, lying next to Tyler. So don't worry, okay?" He couldn't keep a grin off his face though, "You still do unexpected things in your sleep, you know?" He chuckled. He was alluding to the time she sleep talked pretty personal stuff back then in Fairfield, and Angela knew it. She blushed once again, but then relaxed and smiled.

"You're right. I just hope Tyler will understand all of this." She looked a bit worried.

"If you want me to come with you and help explaining, ... no problem," Tony offered.

"Uhm, no, thanks, I guess I have to do that on my own," Angela refused.

"What might he be thinking about us being friends again?"

"I honestly can't tell. Well, he's a sensitive and empathetic man, and he trusts me. And he knows how bizarre our relationship has always been, so this might not really come as such a big surprise, ... hopefully." She didn't sound really convinced, and Tony could see that she was apprehensive and tense.

"Angela, I don't know him so well, but from what you told me about him, he seems to be a patient and understanding kind of a guy. He loves you, and he will listen to you. And if you need someone to back you up, just call me. Although I doubt that I'd serve as a trustworthy and believable source of information in his eyes."

"We'll see," Angela closed the matter and opened another, "What do _you_ think about last night?"

Tony didn't answer her right away but posed a question in return, "Remember the night we spent together in that train on our way to Washington?" Angela nodded but didn't say a word. "I blamed you for sleeping like a baby next to me whereas my eyes wouldn't close for even one second out of excitement lying next to you. Do you recall what you said to me?"

"Sure. I said that I haven't had such a good sleep in a long time, and that this was almost as special as if we had made love."

"Well, you said it a little differently. You said 'something else' instead of actually talking about making love to me," he grinned, "but yes, that was pretty much what you said."

"So, what's your point?"

"The same happened to me last night. I haven't slept this well in ages, ... because of you. Not necessarily you lying next to me, but you and me being best friends again. I haven't realized, not until yesterday afternoon, how essential our friendship is for me, that it is even more important than your love. And I guess this night is the last piece of the puzzle; I didn't have to work hard trying to be a monk and you weren't sleep talking the most craziest stuff. This proofs it I guess, we've really reached another phase in our relationship. After being boss and employee, friends, best friends, lovers, and exes, we're best friends again. And I can't tell you how happy I am about it!"

"You don't have to tell me, Tony. I'm as happy and relieved as you are. I'm glad to have you back. We're family. Gosh, we're grandparents! Sam has four children and Jonathan will be a father soon."

The last information was new to Tony, and his heart jumped for joy upon hearing it. "Really? I didn't know Haley was pregnant."

"She isn't. They tried for two years to conceive but it didn't work out, so they decided to go for an adoption, and they're going to get their baby next month. It isn't born yet, but the mother who gives it up, is eight months pregnant. So they will be a family soon."

"Oh wow, that's great! I'm happy for them. Jonathan will be a great father."

"He had the best role model, and I don't mean Michael!" Angela said with a smile.

There was a short silence. Both were sitting with their backs leaned toward the bed rest, the blanket carelessly lying on their laps. There was no awkwardness whatsoever, no tension or uneasiness. Actually, the atmosphere between them had seldom been this uninhibited and light, free from suppressed desire and bottled up emotions, as well as from regret and hurt. The church clock stroke 8 o'clock and they both knew it was time for Angela to go home.

"How about a short breakfast before you leave, Angela? Coffee and juice?" He blinked knowingly at her and expected no dissent. The more surprised he was to get one.

"No, as a matter-of fact, since I'm with Tyler, I have tea in the morning, and he also convinced me to never leave the house without a proper breakfast."

"Kudos to that man! I tried for years to make you do that, unsuccessfully as we both know." He jumped out of the bed. "You can use the bathroom, Angela, and I take care for a quick breakfast. You should go home and talk to your husband. I bet he had a rough night, ..." Tony sympathised. He felt no rivalry any more, maybe he could even built up some kind of a relationship with him in the future. Maybe they would never become friends, but if they managed to accept the other as a part of Angela's life at least, they would've already come a long way.

* * *

Angela opened the front door to the apartment she had been living in together with her husband for more than six years now. She threw the keys on a little marble table and called out for Tyler, "Honey, I'm home!"

Tyler was coming up to meet her in the hallway. He looked pleased to see her, but also troubled. "You came back", he stated stiffly, trying to keep his emotions under control. For the entire night, he had been tossing and turning in their nuptial bed, unable to find a single minute of sleep. The worst scenario had made itself comfortable in his head and had kept his heart rate at an unusual height: Angela in Tony's arms. And he feared nothing more than that she could be leaving him because of this man.

"Sure! What did you think?" Angela felt sorry for her husband, for she could read the anxiety and worry from his eyes.

"Well, you spent the night with him." He pursed his lips.

"I didn't spent the night _with_ him, Tyler. I spent the night _at his place_. That's not the same. And nothing, believe me, nothing happened." Angela implored.

"Hard to believe. You never stopped loving each other."

"That's what we both thought as well, but we found out something about us yesterday."

"And what was that?" Tyler's voice was flat and powerless.

"That we're through with love. It was a phase in our relationship. A wonderful phase, yes, but it's well and truly over. We're back at being friends, _just_ friends."

"Uh huh, ..."

"Tyler, you have to believe me. I'm not interested in Tony romantically. Not anymore. I'm with you now, and I love you."

"Hmmm, ..."

"Tony and I need each other as friends. We're family. He loves Jonathan like a son, and I love Sam like a daughter. We can't get out of each other's way, ... and we don't want to. I know that you'd prefer if I stayed away from him, but I'm afraid I can't do that. It was so hard to send him away at Jonathan's wedding. I missed him. I need him in my life. I'm sorry, ..."

"How do I know that you're not having something going on behind my back?" Tyler asked earnestly.

"You simply have to trust me. Do you think you can do that?"

Tyler went over to Angela and took her in his arms. He looked into her pleading eyes and saw nothing but truthfulness, honesty, and sincerity in them. "You're really having a peculiar relationship with that guy!"

"You can say that again! I often wondered whether someone up there is having a lot of fun with us. Making us meet as teenagers in summer camp, sharing our first grown-up kiss, leading him to my door when I was in need of a live-in housekeeper, sprinkling a lot of chemistry on us, letting us yearn for each other for years while caring for this family, bringing us together eventually, and tearing us apart shortly afterwards. If somebody put a plot like this in a movie, everybody would consider it to be too far-fetched and surreal. But, ... this is my life! ... Mine and Tony's actually." Angela wrapped her arms around Tyler's waist and looked up to him. "Do you think you can live with it, if the story continued, I mean?"

"Do I have a choice?" He tried to stay stern, but his eyes started to unmask him when they looked lovingly at Angela's. He simply loved her too much to hold her friendship to her former housekeeper against her. And he did trust her. He knew she wasn't a woman who would cheat on her husband, she was too righteous and sincere for such a behavior. If she loved this man, she would leave him, Tyler knew. She wouldn't take him for a fool. So if she said, they were friends and not lovers, they were friends and not lovers.

"I would appreciate if you were okay with it." Angela hoped for some kind of approval.

"You would tell me if things changed between us, wouldn't you?"

"Nothing has changed between us, Tyler," she assured firmly, "You saved me when my life had touched the bottom. And although I struggled at first until I got involved with you, once I did, I was in there for keeps. You were never meant to be provisional, if you were ever assuming just that. I'm not that kind of a woman."

Angela's last words made Tyler feel warm all over. He knew she told the truth, and he felt this strong connection to her. "What makes him so important to you?" he wondered, "What can he give you that I can't? I know it's a childish and stupid question, but I just have to know."

That was the one question Angela had been afraid he would ask. She didn't want to value one man against the other. She needed and wanted them both in her life. She knew it was selfish, asking them each to accept the other. Men liked to claim the sole position at a woman's side. It was a natural trait, like the alpha male chased away every rival in its territory. These two men would have to get along with each other, just because of her.

"It's not childish, Tyler, not at all. I know this isn't easy for you." She thought a moment about how she could explain it to him. "Tony and I are so different and yet we complemented each other so well in caring for this family. He was more a father to Jonathan than Michael, and I'll always be grateful for that. Without him The Bower Agency wouldn't exist, I would be some ad exec in some kind of advertising agency, working for someone else's accounts and not for my own. Maybe we would've never met, if he hadn't talked me into establishing my own agency."

"Now you want me to be grateful to him for bringing us together?" Tyler asked without being able to completely suppress the sarcasm in his voice.

"No, that's not what I meant." Angela was a bit irritated for she knew he had misinterpreted her on purpose. "I meant that my life - well, make it Mother's, Jonathan's and mine - would've taken a completely different road without Tony, and not necessarily a better one. He supported all of us in many ways."

"But he also treated you badly when he left you."

Angela thought for a moment. He had hurt her, yes, had made her world collapse, very much so, but he had not necessarily treated her badly. She had felt mistreated by Michael rather than by Tony. Michael, who had left her with a toddler and a mortgaged house just to pursue his own way of happiness and life fulfillment; and they had been married. At least Tony had been decent enough to leave before he had promised to love and cherish her until death would part them. He had just not been able to deny his traditional Italian background, which entrusted the man with the task of providing for the family and disapproved the one who lived off his wife's money. There had been many nights of tears she had asked herself why his love hadn't sufficed to tame his male pride and to overcome the social conventions. Just like she had done. For a woman of her upbringing, marrying out of her social class wasn't a matter of course either. She had been able to bridge the social gap between them, why hadn't he? This question had been preying on her mind for a long time.

"Well, let's say he made me miserable when he left."

"Isn't that the same?"

"He didn't leave for selfish reasons, like my first husband. He left because he saw no alternative."

"There's always an alternative," Tyler professed.

"No, sometimes there isn't, or at least you're profoundly convinced there isn't," Angela sighed. "What's the use of musing about it today anyway? This time of my life is long gone. You asked me why he's so important to me. I guess there is no easy answer to this question. Tony Micelli brought many happy moments into my life, and also some very sad ones. The bottom line is, that our friendship has survived whereas our love died. Does that make any sense?"

"Hmmm, it's not so easy to listen to you talking so lovingly about another man, I have to tell you. I just hope that you'll be as tolerant and forgiving with me, should I ever make a wrong decision."

Angela felt bad for Tyler. "I'm sorry. I know I'm asking a lot, ..." She buried her face in her hands and turned away from him.

"It's okay, Sweetheart. I've been hooked on you, and I would do anything to make you happy. If accepting Tony Micelli in my life is going to make you happy, ... so be it!" He hadn't completely pronounced the last words when Angela had already thrown herself into her husband's arms and started to sob uncontrollably. "Shhhh, don't cry. I said I wanted to make you happy, not sad!" He smiled at her and pulled a handkerchief out of his breast pocket he then dried her tears with. Angela took it out of his hands and blew her nose.

"How come that I've deserved someone like you? You're a great guy, you know that?"

Tyler grinned from ear to ear. "Just don't ever forget that!" He raised his index finger in feigned earnestness. He pulled her in a tight embrace, and they both remained intertwined for quite some time, motionless, each of them enjoying their final agreement on the 'Tony-matter'. Then Tyler broke the silence. "I have a great idea. How about you and me play hooky today?"

Angela hesitated. "Actually, I have an important meeting in the afternoon," she explained.

"Come on, send Jack," Tyler tried to persuade her, "I'll take you to the MoMa, they're having an extraordinary Gauguin exhibit. Later we have a late lunch somewhere." As she was still struggling, he pulled another ace out of his sleeve, "My treat", which made her give in. Angela smiled, flung her arms around her husband's neck, looked him in the eyes and said, "I'd love to spend the day with you." That was what she loved about their relationship. They were like two peas in a pod, completely in sync with each other. They were on the same wavelength with respect to their business careers, their interests and goals in life. Angela appreciated the easiness and reliabilty her life had taken on since she was with Tyler. She placed a kiss on his lips which was reciprocated fervently. Tyler pulled her very close and stole another kiss from her. "I was afraid that I would be losing you."

"I know, and I'm sorry. But I won't go away. 'Til death us do part', remember?"

He did remember. And it took a huge load off his mind to hear her talking like this. Tyler Rolland's world was all tidy again. He finally felt secure of his relationship to his wife. She had returned from her previous lover, from Tony Micelli, the one and only person he had always been afraid of since Angela had told him their story for the first time. Now, eventually, this chapter of her life seemed to be closed. She had sounded convincing, and he trusted her. Maybe he could start afresh with this man, try to built up some kind of relationship. They might never become friends, but they had to accept the other's existence anyway, so getting along with each other would make all their lives easier. He should at least try. For his own sake, as well as for Angela's.

Angela had changed and refreshed herself during Tyler's musings. She had called the office to quickly brief Jack on the meeting he had to represent her in. She now took her husband's hand and dragged him out of the door. "Come on, Mr. Rolland. You promised me something! I take you up on it!"

With this they left the apartment, hand in hand.

* * *

Sam was sitting an the kitchen table with Clarisse and Zachary, her one-year old twins, in their high chairs, trying to get them to eat some of their lunch without throwing half of it on the floor. When the telephone rang she moaned, this wasn't the perfect time for a chat on the phone, but because it just wouldn't stop ringing, she eventually got up and took the call.

"Hello?" she snapped a bit unfriendly into the receiver.

"Sam? It's me," a familiar voice made it to her ear.

"Dad?"

"Oh good, you still recognize me!" he chuckled. "Sorry, I haven't called for quite some time."

"And haven't answered any of my messages," she replied reproachfully.

"I know, I know. And I apologize."

"I was worried about you, Dad," Sam explained the dozens of messages she had left on his answering machine.

"No need to worry, Sam. Not anymore. Listen, because I missed the twins' birthday last month, I thought I could come for a visit this weekend and take them to the zoo. What do you think?" Tony proposed. He could've slapped himself in the face for having missed his grandchildren's first birthday, and he wanted to make up for it.

"Since when are you back among the living?" She didn't get an answer right away and wondered whether her father was still on the phone. "Dad, are you still there?"

After another short moment of silence, Tony only said, "Angela was here."

Sam let out a deep sigh of relief. "Oh good."

"Thanks for sending her over, Sam. We had a good talk," Tony said and told her every detail about the afternoon, the night and the following morning, concluding with the words, "I feel really good at last, Sam. It's like awakening from a long, dreadful nightmare."

"I'm happy for you, Dad." Sam's eyes filled with tears.

"Thanks for caring for me, Sweetheart. I love you." Tony's voice almost failed. He cleared his throat. "I'm looking forward to seeing you, Adrian, and the kids in a few days."

"Me too. And I'm glad to have you back, Dad. I'm sorry, but I have to go now. Zach is proving the law of gravitation with throwing his macaroni & cheese on the kitchen floor. See you Saturday. Bye!" She smiled into the receiver.

"Bye, Sam."

Sam put the receiver back on the hook. A huge grin showed up on her face. "Thanks, Angela. I knew you were the only one to drag Dad out of his melancholy!" she said to herself before turning around to care for the incredible mess her two children had made in the kitchen while she had been talking to her father on the phone.

It didn't bother her at all.


	3. Decisions Renewed

**Author's note: **After the second part of this story, I got some reviews of people asking me to bring Tony and Angela back together again. As much as I refused to do so at the beginning, at some point the idea of a plot began to seed itself into my mind. I tried to find a solution to my dilemma, because I myself liked to see them as a couple again. It took me quite a while to write this last part, but I wanted to come up with a plausible plot and a course of events both my characters and myself could live with.

This has been therapy.

Enjoy and let me know what you think!

* * *

**_DECISIONS RENEWED_**

Angela stepped away from the bed and let go of Tyler's hand which was beginning to turn cold. She shivered at the sensation for it wouldn't fit at all to that gentle, kind and warm being her late husband had been. She slowly tried to distance herself from the lifeless body, both physically and emotionally. A nurse entered the room, laid an arm around her shoulder and asked her, "Is there anything I can do for you, Mrs. Rolland?" Angela shook her head. She wasn't able to speak. "Is someone taking you home? You shouldn't be alone right now," she recommended. She was an experienced nurse and had been a witness of many situations like this: a person in shock about the sudden and unexpected loss of a beloved.

"I don't know," Angela said absent-mindedly, "I didn't ask anybody to pick me up." Usually she was a well organized person, thinking of such pragmatic things as to plan her way home from somewhere; but this wasn't a usual situation. Not at all.

"If you want me to call a cab for you, Mrs. Rolland, just tell me. You really shouldn't be driving." She looked compassionately at Angela, who nodded eventually. She hadn't made any plans on how to proceed. It was all so unreal. She was still waiting for the moment someone pinched her, and she would wake up from this terrible nightmare. The nightmare which had been haunting her since yesterday morning, when her secretary Malia had called her out of a business meeting.

Angela had been annoyed at first, for she had told Malia that she didn't want to be disturbed, but when she had seen her shocked face, she had instantly known that something was terribly wrong. Her stomach had convulsed and the air around her seemed to have cooled down from one second to the next. Jonathan was the first person she had feared for, but when Malia had handed her the phone, telling her that a 'Bertha' wanted to talk to her, she had known that something had happened to Tyler. Bertha had informed her with a shaking voice that her husband had broken down in his former office, that the paramedics had been called right away, and that they had taken him into the hospital without any further delay. "I think it's very serious, Angela," Bertha had concluded. "The paramedics told me they'll take him to the NYU Medical Center on 1st Avenue. You should go there as quickly as you can, Angela. I'm so sorry, ..." Her voice had quit the service, and she had started to cry. Bertha had been Tyler's loyal secretary for more than 25 years and had always admired him. After his retirement two years ago, it hadn't been easy for her to adapt herself to a new boss.

Angela had handed the phone back to Malia, had collapsed into her secretary's chair, her face chalk-white and her hands trembling. Malia had been talking insistently to her, but the world around her had turned mute for Angela. No noise whatsoever had made it to her ears at that moment, she had only heard her blood rushing and her heart pounding. "Need to go," she had muttered, "please excuse me inside." With this she had grabbed her purse, had rushed to the underground parking of her office, and had driven to the hospital. She had clutched the steering-wheel so hard that her knuckles had turned white. "Keep going, Tyler," she had told him, "I'll be right there. Just keep going, Sweetheart, please!" She had been scared, but hopeful. Tyler was in pretty good shape for his age; he used to go to every medical check-up, they were both on a healthy diet and worked out regularly. What could happen to a man like him, Angela had wondered. She had thought back to the day her father had passed away unexpectedly and silently prayed, 'Dear God, don't let it happen again.' Little had she known that this time it would be even harder to bear than back then.

Upon her arrival, she had reported to the reception. After a look into the computer, the nurse's look had become compassionate and she had shown Angela the way to the ICU. There, another nurse had led her to an office, telling her that a doctor would be there any minute to update her on her husband's condition. The doctor had kept her waiting almost ten unbearable minutes, in which Angela strode through the little room like a panther in a cage. When he had finally arrived, he had told her very matter-of-factly that Tyler had suffered from a severe stroke which had cut off a big part of his brain from the oxygen supply until the paramedics had been able to put an oxygen mask on his mouth and nose. He had told her that he was in a stable condition right now, but that his prognosis was rather sinister. He was hooked on life support, and the machines kept his organism alive but his brain waves were hardly measurable. "What are you trying to tell me, Doctor?" Angela had asked him, terrified, her fear almost choking her. "We'll await events and see how he comes through the next couple of hours. If we don't see any brain activity returning, we have to talk about disconnecting your husband from life support. I'm very sorry, Mrs. Rolland." He had gently squeezed Angela's hand, but she hadn't noticed any of this. His words 'disconnecting your husband from life support' had echoed in her head as if she was sitting right next to a giant church bell striking the hour. The doctor had offered her some sedatives, but she had refused. "Can I see him?" she had asked instead. "Sure. I call a nurse to show you the way."

For the following hours, Angela had believed herself to be in a parallel universe. She had seen herself sitting at Tyler's bed, holding his hand, and whispering encouraging words into his ear. Only the beeping of the various monitors and apparatuses, and the doctors and nurses checking on him every ten minutes, had told her that this wasn't a bad dream but brutal reality. She had stared at the electroencephalogram until her eyes burned that much that she had to blink without being willing to do so; she had been afraid to miss the moment his brain waves showed any signs of activity. But they hadn't done her the favor. The lines had remained unchanged and brutally clear in indicating that Tyler's brain was not recovering in any way. Every time her thoughts had wandered to the point of Tyler possibly dying, she had forbid herself to let them go any further. 'Think positive, Angela,' she had told herself, 'don't let him feel that you're scared to death.' And she had managed to do so until the doctor who had first informed her about Tyler's medical condition had pulled her aside and had told her that his prognosis was hopeless, that he was clinically dead, that his circulatory was only kept running by the machines he was connected to.

"Have you ever discussed life-prolonging measures with your husband, Mrs. Rolland?" the doctor had wanted to know.

"Yes," Angela had croaked.

"Did he want them applied on him? Do you know?"

"He didn't want to be dependant on machines, hooked to a respirator or feeding tube. He said he wanted his life to end in dignity and not prolonged indefinitely by some medical apparatuses." Angela was startled about how matter-of-fact her voice sounded, so composed and firm. She remembered their recent conversation. Back then, she had thought that they would be talking about an unlikely scenario in the distant future. She had never believed that it would become a reality so soon.

"Well, that's technically what we're doing right now, Ma'am. We're prolonging your husband's life. The stroke caused a brain damage so massive that his organism can't keep up the circulatory by itself. It would collapse without the support of the medical devices." The doctor had looked at Angela. Despite the hundreds of similar conversations he had already conducted throughout many years of practising his profession, he would never get used to telling somebody that there was no hope for a patient anymore. That was what he hated most about being a doctor; being helpless and powerless, unable to cure a patient, and having to shake the hope and confidence others had put in him. "Is there any letter of intent written by your husband?"

"Yes, there is. His attorney holds it in safekeeping."

The doctor had nodded and was relieved. A person having declared his intention clearly and in writing took an incredible load off his family, namely having to decide whether or not to disconnect him from life-support. He had seen wives who had felt guilty for the rest of their lives for having 'killed' their husbands. That wouldn't happen to this woman. This woman, who appeared so composed, so incredibly strong and brave. She didn't have to decide for her husband, he had done so himself.

"If you give me the attorney's number, I call him. If there are any other family members you would like to have at your side, you should call them. There's no need to hurry, but we shouldn't make him suffer needlessly."

No one of Tyler's family had mustered up the guts to attend the moment the machines, which kept him alive, would be switched off. Everyone was afraid that it would be too much to bear to literally see him pass away. Even Angela. But she had faced up to her fears, she wasn't willing to leave her husband alone at the most difficult moment of his life. 'Until death do us part,' she had once vowed, and she was determined to deliver on her promise. So she had witnessed how liveliness had slowly left Tyler's body, how his chest hadn't raised and sunk anymore after the respirator had been taken away, and how the lines, showing his heartbeat on the monitor, had gradually flattened. She had been holding Tyler's hand, had stroked it, and had looked at the place where his wedding band had rested until a few minutes earlier. One of the nurses had taken it off and had handed it to Angela. It had left a mark behind, for the skin was a bit paler underneath. At some point, the doctor had laid his hand on Angela's shoulder and told her, "He's gone, Mrs. Rolland. My condolences."

These most dramatic and difficult hours of Angela's life laid behind her. Now, the nurse wanted to get her out of the room. She knew that the longer people stayed with the deceased person, the more devastated they became. A person in shock needed time to be able to grasp at what had happened. "Come on, Mrs. Rolland. Leave your husband alone. He's at peace now. There is nothing more you can do for him. You were at his side on his way over, and I bet he was aware of it. Now you have to care about yourself." She gently shoved Angela towards the door, opened it and pushed her right through it. The moment the two of them stepped out of the room, a man rose from one of the blue plastic seats in the waiting area just across the hallway. Angela looked up, and let out a sigh of relief when she recognized the familiar face. Of course he would there! What had she been thinking? He was always there when she needed him.

"Tony," she whispered.

"Angela! Jonathan called me and told me what happened." He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "Oh my, your hand is freezing cold, Angela! Is he ...?" Tony didn't dare to go on, the words just wouldn't come out of his mouth.

"Yes." Angela's voice was hardly audible. "Tyler's dead." She swallowed because she suddenly was aware of her new civil status. "I'm a widow, Tony." She looked into his eyes through the tears which were now falling. They were the first ones, she hadn't cried at all until this moment. She had needed her strength as long as Tyler was still alive to be able to help him and to support the medical team. She needed to function, but the last 30 hours had drained all the energy out of her; especially the last few, when she had to decide to let her husband die. Now she felt weak and powerless, and not able to hold back the tears anymore. So she let them run free.

"Oh my God," was Tony's only reply, "Come here," he told her and took her in his arms. He could feel how exhausted she was and felt himself reminded of the moment Marie had passed away. He remembered how grief and sorrow had overwhelmed him upon realizing that they had reached the end. He had been shocked about the finality of the last goodbye, that he would never again see his wife, talk to her, hold her, kiss her, make love to her, ... He pressed Angela closer, for he knew exactly how lost and lonely she felt right now. And he had been able to prepare himself for Marie's death, whereas Angela was confronted with Tyler's out of nowhere. It had to be inconceivable and almost unbearable.

"Thanks, Tony, for coming," Angela said after the first wave of sobs had subsided. She inhaled deeply through her nose, and exhaled slowly through the mouth, her eyes closed. She calmed herself and tried to regain her balance. She put 'vulnerable and emotional Angela' aside and let out 'pragmatic, hands-on Angela'. "I have to ask the nurse about the formalities, I guess there's some paperwork to be done. Then I have to inform Tyler's family and Bertha, his former secretary; they were very close. I have to-"

"Aaangela!" Tony put a stop to her over-zealous mind because he knew that she needed to rest. "You're not doing any of these things right now. I'll get you home, you'll change, compose yourself, and then you can call Tyler's family. And that will be it for tonight. You need to slow down, let everything sink in. Distracting yourself from reality won't alter it one bit. You can busy yourself with a thousand things, but it won't change anything about the fact that you lost your husband today. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Allow yourself to be sad, to mourn. There's nothing wrong with crying either."

Angela gritted her teeth. She hated it to have no control over her emotions. And her emotions were getting the better of her; of course they were. It wasn't the first time that she had to cope with a sudden loss of a man she loved. Her father had died of a heart attack when she was 14 years old. She had kissed him goodbye in the morning, before she had left the house for school, and in the evening she had consoled her mother who had broken down at her late father's hospital bed. At least they hadn't been urged to decide to disconnect him from life support then, like she had been today. She had tried to be strong to support her mother who had needed her as her rock, who had relied on her teenage daughter to help her through the worst time of her life. This time it was different. Angela was tempted to let herself fall into Tony's arms. He could be her rock this time, he was the one person she'd show her vulnerable, weak side to. But she was so used to display her strength and power to the outside world, that admitting she wasn't the mistress of the situation was almost impossible for her. But she appreciated Tony's offer to bring her home, because being alone right now scared the heck out of her.

* * *

Tony opened the door to Angela and Tyler's apartment. It took a moment until she crossed the threshold, for she wasn't sure how she would react, whether she would be able to keep her composure. Tony watched her closely. It broke his heart to see her struggling so much, but he knew that letting herself go was the most difficult thing for her. And it hadn't anything to do with him. He took her hand and gently pulled her inside. "Come on, Angela. I'm here, you're not alone."

She took a hesitant step and Tony closed the door behind her. It was quite warm inside, but Angela shivered. Her steps resounded in the hallway. She was used to being greeted by Tyler when she returned home, and the silence made her stomach convulse. On a regular working day, he would've gotten back from his errands earlier than she. He would've prepared dinner or at least opened a bottle of wine. Not tonight. This wasn't a regular working day. He would never again greet her upon coming home. Angela took a deep breath and walked through their apartment as if in a trance. Tony followed her, carefully watching her every move. He knew she would break down eventually, and he planned to be right there beside her the moment it happened; and he was quite sure the moment was imminent. He could tell from her tense demeanor and her stiff movements.

Angela approached the kitchen table and froze at the view of the remnants of yesterday's breakfast. They had been in a hurry and hadn't cleared the table before leaving the apartment, contrary to their usual habit. She had been late for an important meeting, and Tyler had planned to drop by his office and say hello to Bertha, his former secretary for 25 years. All they had done was putting the milk and the butter into the fridge, the rest had been left behind. "Angela, leave it," Tyler had told her, "I'll take care of the plates when I get home. I bet you won't be here before dinner time, but I'll be back in the afternoon, after my lunch with Bertha." He had placed a kiss on her cheek. "Everything will be nice and tidy once you're back, Darling, I promise," he had said with a grin.

"You promised me something, Tyler," Angela muttered now, "how dare you not keep your promise?"

"What was that, Angela?" Tony laid his hand on her shoulder. She turned around and looked at him with empty eyes.

"He promised me to clean up the kitchen." She took the knife Tyler had used in the morning and laid it on the plate. "I hate it when he places his messy knife on the table, I must've told him a thousand times," she railed. "Why doesn't he listen to me? I'm going to tell him-" She stopped in the middle of the sentence, realizing that she spoke of Tyler as if he was still alive. And she felt guilty for being angry with him. Deep down her heart she knew that the kitchen would've been immaculate, had he been given the chance to deliver on his promise. Angela buried her face in her hands. "How could you do this to me, Tyler Rolland? Sneaking out of my life like this? You promised me to make me happy! I should've never gotten involved with you! It would've spared me this. Damn!" She was all discomposed and falling apart now. Being angry with him was easier than being sad, it was her way to let out the tension she had built up since she was first informed about Tyler having suffered from a stroke.

She was about to break down, Tony knew, and he had made a decision. "I'm not leaving you here alone tonight, Angela. You have to get out of this place. It stirs you up way too much," he stated. "You're staying at my place tonight. You may return tomorrow morning, after you had a chance to process some of what had happened. You definitely need something to eat and a few hours of sleep, and you would get neither of the two, if you spent the night here." Angela was too confused to refuse, so she just shrugged her shoulders and kept on staring at Tyler's knife, messy from the cheese spread he had always loved for breakfast.

Tony knew he had to hurry. She could suffer from a nervous breakdown any minute, if he didn't get her out of this kitchen fast enough. He urged her out of the chair and gently maneuvered her into the living room. It wasn't an unperilous spot either, with their wedding picture on the mantlepiece, and Tyler's favorite armchair standing right beside the fireplace, the book he had last read on the little coffee table, but memories here weren't as fresh and lively as the ones in the kitchen.

"Wait here, Angela. I pack a few things, then we leave. Getting out of this apartment and out of New York might do you good. I parked my car in the hospital's parking garage, maybe we can take yours?" Angela nodded absent-mindedly. "Where's the bedroom?" Tony had been invited to their apartment a few times for dinner over the last years, but had never been to the master bedroom. He knew the kitchen, he had even cooked in there once, the guest bathroom, the living room, and that gorgeous roof garden, but he had never seen their private chambers. It had been forbidden territory all these years. Until today. Today's events requested extraordinary measures, and browsing through Angela's closet and her vanity items was one of them.

As Angela didn't react to his question, Tony decided to look for himself. This was only a New York apartment, not Versailles Palace, it should be possible to locate the master bedroom within a few minutes. After having opened some false doors, he had indeed found it, and he was glad that he hadn't asked Angela to show him around, for the first thing he spotted was the rumpled marriage bed with their nightwear carelessly thrown onto it. It would've cut into her heart even deeper than the breakfast table. He quickly changed the linens and made the bed, so that she wouldn't be forced to see it like they had left it upon her return the next day. After that, he had a look at her closet and felt reminded of the many times he had packed her suitcase for a business trip or a family holiday. He still knew exactly what she needed: a pair of jeans, a cotton tee and a comfortable sweater. He opened a few drawers of an antique dresser until he found a pair of socks. The next drawer was the one with her underwear. Tony swallowed and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. He tried to find some rather ordinary pieces without rummaging around too much. As her housekeeper, he had already been intimidated by Angela's underwear; it hadn't changed much. He felt his pulse accelerate, and he still had to look for a nightgown,... Maybe it would be a good idea to look for the vanity items first, it would give him a chance to cool down a little.

The en suite bathroom was very fancy, with a huge transparent shower and a luxury jacuzzi. They had two sinks, and it was obvious which was whose. So Tony directly steered towards the one with the perfume flacons and cream jars. He took her toothbrush and toothpaste, randomly grabbed a cream, and last but not least, a brush and a hairband. Then he returned to the bedroom to look for a nightgown. The closet was still open and his look quickly fell on the shelf with Angela's nightwear. He was lucky that the one on the top of the pile was okay; it was a long flannel gown, warm and comfy, ... and not sexy at all.

When he came back into the living room, Angela stood at one of the huge windows overlooking the City. She stared outside, motionless, with her arms crossed in front of her chest. Tony approached her and gently laid his hand on her small back, which seemed to have even shrunk a bit more. His touch made her cringe.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he apologized.

"It's okay, I was abstracted." She looked at him. Her eyes were dry, but red and sad.

"I packed your bag, Angela," Tony informed her, but she didn't react to it in any way. She stared outside again, the sparkling lights of the City were reflected in her now watery eyes. "How did you ever get over it?" she asked out of the blue.

"What do you mean?" he replied, although he had an idea.

"Marie's death."

"It wasn't easy. ... What am I saying? It was damn hard! I had Sam. I had to pull myself together for her. She was a little girl who had just lost her mother, she shouldn't lose her father too." He recalled some of the pain he had to cope with after his wife had passed away at such a young age. "And I know it sounds a bit hackneyed, but it's true: time heals all wounds. I can tell from experience." He stood right beside her now. "And I met you."

His last sentence had an impact on Angela. She turned around and looked at him unbelievingly. "Don't look at me like this, Angela! Until I met you, I believed I could never love a woman again like I had loved Marie."

"Oh Tony," was all Angela could answer.

"You helped me then, and I'm going to help you now. ... As your friend, I mean," he started stammering.

"Right. As my friend," she repeated. "I'm lucky. You're the best friend I can imagine. Earlier, I hadn't anticipated that you could be waiting for me in front of that hospital room, but when I saw you, I was so relieved. How could I have ever thought that you might _not_ be there? You were always there when I needed you. I wished I could say the same about me. I'm still angry with me that I rejected you at Jonathan's wedding. That was cruel and unworthy of a best friend."

"Tonight's not the right time to worry about what has been, Angela. You came to me eventually, and that's all that counts. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed our friendship over the last years. And I will be your friend right now and get you out of this apartment. It won't be good for you to stay here all by yourself. I only need to get you a pair of shoes, after that we can leave."

Angela smiled weakly. "My running shoes will be fine. I think they are somewhere in the little room right next to the front door."

"Okay, I'll get them. Anything else you need?"

"I'm sure you thought of everything, Tony. It's not the first time you packed an overnight bag for me." Her heart was filling with warmth at the thought. Having a friend like Tony was a precious gift. How many times had he helped her, supported her, encouraged her, rescued her? She would've been lost without him, she knew. And she also knew she could count on him during the most horrible personal crisis she had ever been in: the passing of her husband. "Let's go."

The only thing she grabbed on her way out was the wedding picture which showed Tyler and her in a close-up, happily smiling at each other. Her sight remained on the picture a bit too long for Tony, for he could see how she was about to lose her composure, so he took it out of her hands and put it in the bag. "Give it to me Angela. We're taking Tyler with us." With this he laid his arm around her shoulders and prompted her to leave.

* * *

"My home is your castle," Tony told Angela after he had opened the door to his apartment. It was still the same one she had visited him once with the intention to repair their friendship, only that it was all tidy this time. She had helped him out of a crisis then, now it was the other way around.

"I'm afraid I'm not prepared for an overnight guest, but I do have a sleeper sofa now," Tony announced, "for my grandchildren to sleep over. They are too old to sleep on the couch. Marius is 15 and taller than I am!"

"I know. I met him last month for lunch. He asked me for an internship at The Bower Agency. Impressive young man. And so handsome!" Angela smiled. She was still flattered by the fact that Sam's children considered her to be their grandmother, and taking a good-looking, well-behaved young man to lunch had been nothing but a pleasure. And of course she had taken him as an intern.

"How about you get out of these clothes first?" Tony proposed. Angela was still wearing the business outfit she had put on two days ago; a tight blue pencil skirt with a matching jacket, a white blouse with blue polka dots, and blue high heels. A sight Tony was used to, he had seen her a thousand times in an outfit like this, but he assumed that her feet must be killing her, and that changing into another outfit would also help her to shake off some of the tension and pain she had accumulated over the last one and a half days.

"Yes, that's a good idea." She took the bag out of his hands, "I still know where your bathroom is."

"Yeah, well, not as many doors here as at your place," he said a bit subdued.

"I'm glad to be here though, Tony. Thanks for having me."

"You bet!"

Angela turned around and left him alone in the living room. Tony looked after her for a short moment and tried to think of a way to ease her sorrow. He couldn't bring back her husband, but he could make her feel cared for and cherished. A nurturing meal might be helpful, and a hot cup of tea. He instantly went into the kitchen and checked his refrigerator. All the ingredients he needed for a quick serving of spaghetti carbonara were there, so he started with the preparations right away.

He was so occupied in chopping the onions and the bacon that he hadn't noticed Angela entering the kitchen. She had changed into the clothes Tony had brought for her, had washed all the make-up off her face, and had put her hair up in a ponytail, using the hairband Tony had thrown into her vanity bag. He knew her so well! She sat on the little bench in the corner of the tiny kitchen, put her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, as if to hold herself tightly. She hadn't put on her shoes though, only the socks, her feet were swollen and hurt too much.

"I figured you must be hungry, Angela. When did you last have something to eat?" Tony asked, just to get the conversation started.

"My last meal was yesterday's breakfast with Tyler," her voice was thin, "but still, I don't really have an appetite."

"Angela, that was more than 30 hours ago! You have to eat and drink something. Breaking down because of a low blood sugar level and dehydration won't help you one bit!" He placed a steaming mug in front of her. "Here you go. A hot cup of tea. Drink it!"

"Yes, Sir!" Angela answered, only pretending to be annoyed. It felt so good to have somebody caring for her.

"I'm preparing spaghetti carbonara, and I will personally make you eat at least some of it," he announced with a lot of resolve in his voice. "You are exhausted and you need to be replenished."

Angela didn't reply anything. She just watched Tony scurrying back and forth in the kitchen; from the stove to the fridge, from the fridge back to the stove, then to the cabinet, taking out two plates he put on the little kitchen table, then back to the stove to stir the sauce, after that he opened a drawer and took out two forks which he also placed on the table. When the water started boiling, he put the spaghetti into the pot and informed Angela that dinner would be ready in ten minutes, but he doubted that she had heard him. She seemed to be absent, and Tony could imagine where she was. 'Poor woman,' he thought, 'Disconnecting your spouse from life support must be the hardest decision.' It was a decision which had never been his to make. Marie had been able to decide for herself and had refused another chemotherapy when her prognosis had been equally sinister either with or without it.

Tony laid the table, filled two glasses with water and placed a coaster in the middle. He turned back to the stove, tested the pasta, drained it in the sink and mixed it with the carbonara sauce in a huge sauce pan he then put on the coaster on the table. Angela didn't seem to have noticed anything, she sat in the exact same position for almost half an hour now, not saying a word, staring right through Tony. He put a tiny serving of pasta on her plate and two spoonful of sauce, then he sprinkled a bit of freshly grounded parmesan on top. He filled his plate as well and sat down.

"Bon appétit," he said.

Angela didn't move.

"Angela? Are you still with me?"

"What? Uh, ... yes. Sorry. What did you say, Tony? My mind was elsewhere, ..." Angela tried to explain, but of course she didn't have to. Tony was well aware that her thoughts had to be on a roller coaster ride.

"I could see that. I said, 'bon appétit'," he repeated, "Please, have a little something at least."

"I'm not really hungry, Tony."

"I won't let you leave this table unless you eat what's on your plate. It's almost nothing, especially compared to the amounts of food I used to serve you in Fairfield," Tony demanded forcefully, like a father who urged his toddler to eat some healthy vegetables.

"Okay, okay, if it's so important to you," Angela gave in and started to twist some pasta on her fork.

"It is!"

After she had swallowed the first bite, Tony asked, "Do you like it?"

"I like everything you cook for me," Angela told him with a slight smile on her face.

"Everything, except the rumaki I once made," Tony reminded her with one eyebrow raised.

"Oh, will you ever forget that silly conversation with Ginger and Fred at Paul and Isabelle's wedding?"

"No, I won't!"

"I told you a million times that I didn't mean to hurt your feelings with criticizing your rumaki," Angela tried to apologize.

"That stupid rumaki is not the reason for why that conversation has been branded into my memory, Angela."

"No?"

"No."

"What is it then?" She was curious, and hadn't forgotten anything about it either. It had been a crazy day altogether. The two of them walking down the aisle as the bride's and groom's maid of honor and best man, being mistaken as a married couple by Ginger and Fred at their table, decorated with the dumb jokes her mother had made about them.

"It was the day we first talked about marriage. Remember? When were dancing."

Yes, Angela did remember. She had wanted to apologize for her inconsiderate remarks, he had asked her for a dance, and they had asked each other whether they would consider marrying again. Both had assured that they would do so only if they met an appropriate person, silently picturing the other as their future spouse.

"It was the day you introduced me to Geoffrey."

"I didn't introduce you! He asked you for a dance," Tony set right.

"But you said you wouldn't mind, if I danced with him." Truth to be told, she hadn't been very keen on dancing with another man at that particular moment, she had rather wanted to dance with him, only him. But it had been too early for a more serious relationship between them. So she had made the acquaintance of Geoffrey, and the two of them had started dating shortly afterwards.

"Well, I was in no position to make any demands whatsoever." Truth to be told, he would've liked to tell her more openly that he admired her, that he daydreamed about them from time to time, but it had been too early for a more serious relationship between them. So he had let her dance with Geoffrey, and had witnessed the two of them dating shortly afterwards.

Angela twisted some spaghetti on her fork again but didn't put it into her mouth, she stared on her plate and kept on twisting.

"Mind if I asked you something personal, Angela?" There was something he had been dying to know for ages.

"Fire away."

"Have you ever really considered marrying him? I mean Geoffrey?"

Angela thought for a moment. She wasn't exactly proud of her love affair with Geoffrey. "No." She took a sip of water. "I was flattered by his proposal, but when you told me that if I didn't know right away that I wanted to marry him, then maybe I shouldn't, I knew I had to break up with him."

"Why did you date him, if you didn't love him?"

"I hadn't been together with a man since Michael had left me, and I missed it. So I enjoyed being courted by a handsome, successful, polite man. He was so considerate, so zealous to please me; ... and kinda cute. I liked him, and I thought my affection might turn into love eventually. Poor Geoffrey, I didn't treat him well. When he proposed, I realized that he was really serious about us, more serious than I was. I had to dump him. For his own good. He deserved a woman who truly loved him."

"I see. I was glad that you did though."

"I know. It was quite obvious," Angela smiled warmly at him, and Tony looked at his hands, a bit embarrassed.

Finally, Angela pushed her barely finished plate away from her. "I'm done, Tony. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Tony tried to think of way to keep Angela distracted. "How about we watch a movie, as in the old days, with some popcorn?" he suggested.

After a short moment of silence Angela answered, "Movie yes. Popcorn no."

* * *

Tony was preparing the living room and the tv set for the evening, while Angela had gone to change into her nightwear. She knew she was exhausted and tired, and might fall asleep on the sofa, and she wanted to spare Tony the task of making her put on her nightgown. She had to smile inwardly at the fact that it didn't feel awkward at all to share the company of another man than her husband in her nightwear. _Another_ man? ... whom was she kidding? It wasn't _any other_ man's company she was sharing, but Tony's, and he was the only man she was comfortable with doing so. He had seen her a thousand times in all different kinds of nighties, from childish PJs with bunny slippers to sexy negligees which left bare more than they covered. She sighed in relief, realizing once again how much she could consider herself lucky to have a friend like him.

Being the movie lover he was, Tony had acquired a numerous collection of classical Hollywood movies on DVD, so it wasn't so much a question of whether he would have a particular piece but which would be the right one. It had to be fitting. Some movies, like 'Love Story' or even 'Casablanca' where out of the question, they were too sad and heart-wrenching. He needed something which would distract her for one and half hours, without being too silly or funny, so a comedy would also have to be ruled out. Something innocent, entertaining, maybe heart-warming, not too funny, not too sad, ... It was a tough decision. He would let her decide. How about 'An American in Paris'? The musical with Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron. Or maybe a good old Hitchcock suspense movie would do it? 'Rear Window' with James Stewart and Grace Kelly could be a good choice; exciting but not too scary, and not pulling anybody's heartstrings at all. He particularly liked 'Mr. Smith Goes to Washington', another one with James Stewart, for this one always reminded him of the time he had gone to Washington to fight against the cuts in the senior citizens' medical care program. But this would be too much of a reminiscent of their past perhaps, so he sorted this one out right away. Same with 'It Happened One Night' with Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable. Although a screwball comedy like this would perfectly fit tonight's purpose, its plot resembled far too much the night Angela and he had spent at a motel near Jonathan's summer camp once. If he hadn't been such a coward then, he would've taken his chance with her when she had said that things could have been great between them if they were more than just friends. He had been too insensitive to notice the obscured hint in her words, namely that she had been ready for a more serious relationship.

Tony was so absorbed in his thoughts that he again hadn't noticed Angela returning. He startled when he rose from the shelf with all his movies and found her standing in the middle of the room. She had put the flannel nightgown on and had her hair down now. She looked so lost and vulnerable, it broke Tony's heart. One could see that she had been crying, her eyes were puffy and looked at him sadly, and her nose was red from blowing. He could empathise so well with her, he felt the pain after the loss of his wife returning. He knew from self-experience that the pain waned eventually, but never went away completely. But he wouldn't tell her right now. Now, he wanted to ease her pain.

"Is there a particular movie you would like to watch?"

"What do you have?"

"Almost everything. You know that I'm obsessed with these Hollywood blockbusters. You name it, I've got it!" He smiled.

Angela thought for a moment. They had literally watched hundreds of movies together, and most of the time the fact that they had been watching it together had been more important than the movie itself; and tonight was no exception. At the beginning of their relationship, they each had sat at the very end of the sofa, the bowl with popcorn between them to keep an appropriate distance. After they had bonded a little, the sat next to each other, the bowl on the coffee table. Later on, Tony had dared to put his arm around Angela's shoulder once in a while, if the movie got scary or heart-wrenching. The longer their friendship had lasted and the closer they had become, the cozier and more intimate their movie nights had turned out to be. They had spread a blanket across their legs, Angela had snuggled into Tony, had even sometimes laid her head on his lap, or had fallen asleep in his arms after a tough working day. Towards the end of their living together in Fairfield, after having uplifted their friendship to romance, they had only very rarely made it to the movie's credits. Somewhere along they had started to make out, which had led them to finish things in their bedroom eventually. Well, that would not happen tonight, for sure, but Angela longed for the soothing feeling of Tony's proximity, of his protective arms around her, and the healing coziness their movie nights had always entailed.

"Do you have 'Singing in the Rain'?" she asked.

"Sure. That's a brilliant idea. Why haven't I thought of it. I haven't watched it in ages."

"Neither have I."

"Good." Tony beckoned Angela over to his tiny sofa. "Make yourself comfortable, Angela. How about a glass of wine?"

"Why not? It might sooth my nerves a little."

Angela sat down and tucked her feet under her legs. When Tony handed her a glass and put the bottle on the table, she stared at the wine label with an open mouth.

"What's the matter?" Tony asked, "Something wrong with the wine? Bad choice? I think I got it as a present on my last birthday."

"No, actually it's a very good wine. Very generous present. It's only, ...that winery, ... it was Tyler's favorite." Angela closed her eyes, smelled at the bouquet, took a tiny sip, and Tony was relieved when she smiled appreciatively. "Hmmmm, this is good! It needs to breathe a little more though ..." She darted a slightly reproachful look at him, but only to tease him. So she even had to laugh because of Tony's embarrassed expression and his stammered excuses, "didn't know you were coming", "sorry for having chosen this one", "I'm not so much of a connoisseur", ...

"Relax, Tony, I'm fine. It's okay. Let's start the movie." She patted on the spot next to her. After Tony had started the DVD, he took the place beside Angela and put his arm around her. She leaned in on him and laid her head on his shoulder. Like this, they watched the movie they both knew so well. In the good days, they had sang along all the songs, Tony had even danced like Gene Kelly to the theme tune 'Singing in the Rain'; but not tonight. Tony even doubted that Angela caught anything of the plot, but was surprised when she laughed upon hearing the squeaking voice of Lina Lamont, the falling silent movie star who so badly wanted to become a talking film star. When the credits appeared on the screen, Tony switched off the tv with the remote control.

"Some more wine?"

Angela shook her head.

"Would you like to go to bed?"

She again answered him with a shake of her head. Tony didn't know what else to do or say, so he just leaned against the sofa's backrest and remained silent. If she wanted to talk, he would talk. If she didn't want to, he would just sit here with her, offering his shoulder to lean on.

Finally she asked him, "What am I to do, Tony?" Her voice was firm but with a discouraged undertone. "What am I to do all alone? In this huge apartment? We had so many plans. I promised Tyler to cut short my working hours to be able to spend more time with him. We wanted to go on a trip to Europe next year. Part of his family is from Scandinavia and he wanted to introduce me to them. He spoke so enthusiastically of Stockholm. His great grandmother was from Sweden and he desperately wanted to show it to me." She let out a deep sigh before she went on. "I was always putting him off, telling him it's too early for me to retire, that my agency still needs me. Now I could slap myself in the face for being so selfish."

"You weren't selfish, Angela," Tony said, trying to take off a bit of that self-accusation, "You simply were you!"

"But if I had only known-"

"You hadn't known! How could you have known? Nobody knew!" Tony interrupted her sharply. "There's no use in asking yourself 'what if'. It's only going to drive you crazy but won't change anything. You asked me what you are to do. I can't tell you exactly, I'm afraid. All I know is that you have to rearrange your life. It's going to be very different from the one with Tyler, like a brand new life almost. But you are _not_ alone! Understand? You've got a wonderful son and an adorable grandchild. Sam loves you like a mother, and her children enjoy every minute they spend with you. Apartments can be sold, and you can still travel to Sweden and make the acquaintance of Tyler's family. And, ... well, ... I'm here for you whenever you want me around."

Tony hadn't meant to upset her, but his sensitive and warm words made it directly to Angela's heart. Her eyes filled with tears, and she tried not to blink to prevent them from falling, but as soon as the first one was running down her cheek, the dam was broken and she threw herself in his arms and started to cry incessantly. Tony could feel her body being shaken with emotions. It took quite some time for her to calm herself and she wetted his shirt with her snot, but Tony didn't mind. It was a good cry, and it helped to ease the tension a bit. After Angela had recomposed herself, had dried the last tear with the handkerchief he had given her, and had sat back upright, she looked at him and asked, "Will you spend the night with me, Tony? Uh, ... I mean, just hold me?" Angela was a bit embarrassed for she wasn't sure whether Tony had understood her correctly. But her inhibitions turned out to be unfounded right away.

"Of course, Angela. If you want me to, I will be holding you throughout the entire night. Whatever makes you feel better, I'll do."

"I don't think I want to be alone tonight. I need you beside me, Tony."

* * *

Angela was reading the sunday paper, sipping at a mug filled with a semi-hot coffee. Every morning she silently apologized to Tyler for having come back to her old habit of only drinking juice and coffee. Her husband had once persuaded her to always have a proper breakfast, but since she was lacking the company at the breakfast table, she didn't feel like eating in the morning any more.

She was proud of herself, and she had every reason to be. In the year which had passed since Tyler's death, Angela had managed to rearrange her life. She had made it through all the difficult days; like his birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, her own birthday, and, certainly the most painful of all, their wedding anniversary. Of course she spent more hours at her agency than ever before, many more hours, for she felt lonely and forlorn in the big apartment she had once bought together with Tyler. It had already been too big for two people, but for one person alone it felt as if she was wearing shoes at least two sizes too big. At the beginning, she had toyed with the idea of selling it, but then again, it had been a real good investment, and Angela had never been someone who rejected a good opportunity to make some money. So she had kept it. The only thing she had gotten rid off was the marriage bed. She hadn't been able to find any sleep in it, so she had given it to the Salvation Army and had bought a new one; narrower and only meant for her. She had no plans whatsoever to share this bed with a man ever again. She had decided that she was through with love, for in the end love had only brought her tears, misery, pain, and sorrow. None of her great loves had lasted for more than 10 years, and it had always been the men who had ended it. Her heart had gotten too many scars, she was afraid that one more might damage it irreparably.

The ringing of the door bell made Angela startle. She didn't expect any visitors. It was a special weekend: the one-year anniversary of Tyler's passing. She hadn't planned on spending the weekend all by herself, but Jonathan and his family were on a vacation, Sam, Adrian and the kids had to go to the 50th birthday celebration of Adrian's eldest sister, and neither Isabelle nor Wendy had been free to spend time with her. Tony had been the only one who offered to keep her company, but Angela had known that the annual reunion of the St. Louis Cardinals Oldtimers team had been scheduled for this particular weekend, so she had told him to go.

"I'm a big girl, Tony. Go! Have fun for a change, instead of hanging around with a sad old widow."

"A widower and a widow, we're a good team, Angela," Tony usually rebutted Angela's contemplations, but this time he had given in and had gone to spend the weekend with his baseball buddies, although he hadn't been happy with leaving her alone.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Since Tyler's death, Tony used to spend a lot of time with Angela. He dragged her out of her shell, took her to museums and exhibitions, went to the movies with her, and invited her for lunch or dinner. They never called it a date but two friends spending time with each other. They stayed home when her mood was bad and she didn't feel like having a night out. He slept over at her apartment when she was so downcast and distraught that she didn't feel like being alone; always in the guest room, never in her bed. Although he sometimes caught himself dreaming about sharing the bed with her; really sharing it, not only holding her,... But he knew it was much too early for Angela to let romance back into her life. She was the one to set the pace. Until now, he was more than content with sharing her company so often. So instead of making love to her on his sleep-overs, he made her feel good with talking the night away with her, philosophizing about life. He carried her to bed after having rocked her to sleep like a child at the end of an evening of crying. He made her wake up the next morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and homemade blueberry pancakes. And she thanked him with a smile so grateful, and a glance so confident, that he never doubted he was doing just the right thing.

"What can I say, Tony? You saved my life. I'd be lost without you," Angela once admitted.

"You saved my life more than once, Angela. I'm only repaying you some of what I owe to you."

"What do you mean?" Angela looked at him uncomprehendingly.

"Like when I stood in front of your door, a pubescent teenager with a black eye next to me, begging for a job and a place to stay. You not only let me into your house, but also into your life. I don't want to even think about what Sam's and my life would've been like, if you hadn't trusted us and given it a try."

Angela remembered that day so well. It had not only been a decisive turning point in Tony's life, but also in hers. In later years, she had often asked herself why she had been so trustful to invite a complete stranger into the house she lived in with her 8-year-old son, putting them both at his mercy. It must have been his eyes; his warm, friendly and compassionate eyes, which had convinced her that this man would not harm her but enrich her life. And she had thanked God many times for having relied on her gut feeling on this particular day, especially because usually she never did. Normally, she thought things through, analyzed thoroughly, taking into consideration every possible scenario.

"Tony, hiring you was one of the best decisions I ever made. You don't owe me anything."

"Oh yes! I most certainly do!" Was it possible that she didn't know how much she had influenced his life? That he had only become the person he was today because of her support and the way she had served as his mentor? "I would've never dared to run for president of the Parents Association without you telling me I could do it. I would've never dared to go for a college degree without you pushing me. I would've never dared to choose teaching as a major without your encouragement. I'd still be a housekeeper, an ex-pro with no higher education. No one has ever believed in me the way you do, Angela, including myself."

"And I wouldn't have dared to start my own agency without you backing me up. So, I guess we're even." Angela looked at him. They locked eyes and both felt this strong connection to one another. This bond which had survived numerous employer-employee arguments, a painful end of a love affair, a marriage to a third party,... Their friendship was meant to be eternal, it would always steer them through thick and thin. This certainty made Tony feel warm and thankful all over. His body urged to be physically close to hers, and if his cell phone hadn't rang and vibrated in his pants pocket right at that moment, he might have taken her in his arms and kissed her. He reluctantly pulled the device out of his pocket and shouted a bugged "Yes?" into the phone. After realizing who was calling him, his features softened a bit and he adopted a more conciliatory tone, "Oh, hi Sam. ... Yes. ... No. I didn't forget. I'll pick the twins up from school tomorrow, don't you worry. ... She's fine. I'm with her right now." He darted a telling look at Angela, who had also been pulled out of a trance-like state by Sam's phone call. If he had approached her these few seconds ago, she might have dropped her protective shield and put her heart at stake once again. But it hadn't meant to be.

Tony tried to terminate the call quickly. "I will. ... Bye Sweetheart. And say hello to Adrian." He put the phone back in his pocket. "Sam says hello to you."

"Thank you."

They both looked at each other, trying to regain the emotional moment prior to the disturbance, but the spell had been broken, the moment was gone, and neither of them dared to voice what they had been feeling just a few minutes ago.

**xxxxxxxxx**

Tony had to think back to this situation, when they had been so close to each other, only being stopped from doing something they both might have regretted afterwards by his daughter calling him. Today, on the first anniversary of Tyler's death, he had come to serve as Angela's friend once again. To give her the moral support on this particularly difficult day. He remembered how much he had struggled at the first anniversary of Marie's passing. His friends had dragged him out of this apartment then, had taken him to a baseball game, and had gotten drunk with him in a bar afterwards. He had been immensely grateful, and life had become a little easier after that day. There was a reason for the so-called year of mourning to exist, he had understood. And he knew that Angela was at the very same stage in her grief work. So he had planned on helping her through that day like his friends had done more than 25 years ago. That was why he had left his Oldtimer team mates at the dinner table, mumbling an excuse, and had taken the first flight out of St. Louis in the early morning to pick Angela up for a leisure day outside New York.

"I thought I'd take you to the annual flea market at my college. It's really neat. We could have something for dinner later. There's a lovely new Italian restaurant downtown Montclair. They cook almost as well as I do," he said with a grin.

"O-okay, but I'm not really prepared for a day out." Angela looked down on herself and hastily stroked through her hair.

"As much as I like to see you in a bathrobe, Angela, you simply have to put on some clothes. That's not such a big deal. This won't be the Vienna Opera Ball but a provincial flea market!" Tony felt he had to push her a little. "Come on! It's going to be fun. And you _are_ allowed to have fun today."

Angela finally threw her inhibitions overboard, turned on the spot and vanished into her bedroom with the words "be right back" on her lips. Tony maundered through the huge entrance hall to the living room and made himself comfortable on the elegant, chocolate brown leather sofa. He had to smile when he passed the dinner table, which was overflowing with drafts and papers. He slightly shook his head and chuckled. 'I should have known,' he told himself. Of course she had used her work to keep away all those memories which inevitably popped up on a day like this.

Angela was surprisingly quick. She returned after a couple of minutes in a light yellow summer dress, flat shoes and a thin knitted cardigan in her hand. She had brushed her hair and put on some make-up. In Tony's eyes, she looked adorable. She definitely cut a fine figure for a woman in her late 50s; she was slender, dressed beautifully, had full, shoulder-long blond hair, and eyes so full of warmth they made Tony's heart leap every time he looked into them. 'Why did I ever let go off her?' Tony mused, 'How could I've been so stupid as to leave her?'

"What? Is my mascara smeared? Or why do you stare at me like this?" Angela woke Tony from his silent self-accusation.

Tony blushed. "Uhm, no! ... Everything's fine. You look lovely, Angela," he tried to cover up his somewhat deranged state.

"Let's go then. We're taking the Jag." She threw him the keys. "You drive!"

* * *

Montclair College was located in the heart of New Jersey with a beautiful campus. It wasn't too big, so the students and the professors knew each other and socialized on a personal basis. Tony particularly liked this atmosphere of collaboration and trust. He maintained a close, amicable relation with his students, while letting them know that he expected a lot of effort and nothing more than a top performance. He was very much respected as the Dean of the institution, but students as well as colleagues also liked him for his dedication and attitude. He was approachable, took his students seriously, and showed them every day that each and every one was near and dear to him. His mission was to not let anyone leave his college without a degree. It was an impossible mission, he knew, but that didn't keep him from aspiring to it. Tony was a teacher with heart and soul, which was a character trait his students were grateful for, and one Angela always knew he'd have.

Tony and Angela were strolling past the booths of the flea market. Both thought back to the time they had established "Ton*An Enterprises" and sold homemade T-shirts. They had gotten into a fight about who was the better salesperson, and of course Angela had outwitted him in the end. It was one of the many memories they shared, and which enriched their friendship so much.

"Tony, look, they're selling T-shirts over there!" Angela pointed to a booth a few feet away.

"Oh yes, but ours were a lot fancier. These are kind of boring compared to our tie-dyed ones." He grinned at her.

"Mr. Micelli!" Three young female students beckoned him over from behind a long table with all sorts of cakes, muffins and cookies. "How about a little refreshment?"

Tony approached the booth with Angela in tow. He actually felt like having a little something to eat. He had taken the first flight out of St. Louis International Airport in the morning, and had lacked the time for a breakfast. The mushy sandwich on the plane had been inedible, and at Angela's apartment he hadn't thought of asking her for a little breakfast. Her refrigerator wouldn't have anything other than orange juice and a rotten salad in store anyway, he presumed. On the 45-minute-drive from New York to Montclair, he hadn't dared to nibble a sandwich, because he knew how much Angela hated crumbs in her car. So now Tony was really hungry and appreciated the offer. Besides, these cakes and muffins were all homemade and looked delicious, and Angela being the chocolate lover she was, would definitely fall for Mrs. Olson's chocolate chip cookies, which were even better than his, he had to admit.

"Hi, Mr. Micelli," one of the students called out flirtatiously, fluttering her eye lashes. "What can I offer you? I hear you love cheesecake. I have a deliiiiiicious one over here," she darted Tony a luring look, and when he approached the spot where she was waiting for him, she held the plate with the cheesecake so close to the neckline of her tight shirt, that Tony couldn't help but stare at her cleavage.

"Looks good," slipped out of his mouth, and he most certainly meant the cake.

"Care for a soft drink, Mr. Micelli?" one of the other two girls tried to attract the attention to herself. "I have cold ice tea. It's sooooo hot today!" She fanned herself dramatically with a paper plate.

"Mr. Micelli!" The third student didn't want to be ignored, so she pushed aside the other two and presented a plate full of brownies to Tony. "I made these myself. According to the recipe you gave me." Her smile was so wide, one could not only see all her bright, white teeth, but also her gums. "Smell them. I think they turned out really well. Wanna try?"

Angela had watched the scene from afar, and could hardly keep herself from bursting into laughter. The way these girls were throwing themselves at Tony was very amusing. And the way he was obviously completely unaware of their intentions, made the whole situation even funnier.

"Mr. Micelli," the girl with the bright smile chirped again, "I'll be in the 'Kissing Booth' later. Wanna come? I bet as an ex-ball player you'll hit the bull's eye every time. For every hit, our sponsor donates $5, and we can use every dollar we can get. Aaaaand,..." she looked at him saucily, "you'd earn yourself a kiss." She licked her lips and left no doubt about what kind of kiss she intended to give him.

"Uhm, well, Kathleen, ..." Tony stammered and Angela winced at the girl's name. Kathleen. How much she detested that name! Hearing it ignited her fighting spirit. It was time she intervened, though she knew that Tony would never accept an indecent offer such as this. He was too honorable a man to maintain an inappropriate relation to one of his students. But then again, he was a man, and that girl was young, pretty, and obviously not sparing her feminine charms. Angela had once left the battle field to a woman named Kathleen, she wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Although she was a bit surprised about the amount of jealousy she felt watching another woman flirting with Tony - they were only friends, right? - she pictured her mission primarily as freeing Tony from this pushy girl's clutches.

"I, ... uh, ... the earnings of this booth here are donated as well, aren't they? How about I pay the double price instead of-".

He wasn't able to finish his suggestion because Angela showed up at his side, placing her hand on his shoulder, hailing sugar-sweetly, "I can't believe you gave your grandmother's brownies recipe to this fine young lady. You always kept it a secret no matter how often I asked you about it when you made them for _me_." She put a lot of emphasis on the word 'me' and threw him a feigned reproachful look. She could literally feel how Kathleen's eyes bore right through her.

"Oh, Angela, there you are. Well, I only gave it to, ... uhm, to, ..."

"Kathleen," Angela prompted dryly.

"Yes. Right. Kathleen." Tony felt very uncomfortable, and Angela caught herself slightly enjoying his uneasiness, for she had suffered greatly when he'd dated a woman named Kathleen so many years ago.

"So? Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you give it to her?" Angela wouldn't let it go.

"Uhm, because, ... because I was in St. Louis and couldn't do them myself and donate them to this booth." He slowly recovered from this unexpected situation and hissed through gritted teeth, "Remember from where I came this morning to pick you up? I'll teach you how to make them, if you insist."

Angela shook her head. "Nah! I prefer eating them to baking them. Will you get me some?" She looked at him like a little girl asking her daddy for an ice cream cone.

"Sure! ... Two brownies and a slice of cheesecake, please," he said to Kathleen, avoiding to call her by her name. "How about an iced tea, Angela?"

"I'd love one. I'm so hot, Tony." She demonstratively brushed her cardigan off her shoulders, and boggled a little about the ambiguity of her words.

Kathleen and her two friends were watching the conversation between their admired history professor and this elegant blond woman with growing bewilderment. Who was she? They were sure he wasn't married or engaged, and their research hadn't brought up any evidence of a serious relationship. They had found out that he spent a lot of weekends away from Montclair, but assumed he would be visiting his daughter and grandchildren. They believed him to be an easy target for their overtures and had soon entered a competition on who would get him into her bed the fastest. History wasn't their favorite subject, and having an affair with the respective teacher would free them from studying and making an effort. That was their plan, but now he only seemed to have eyes for that older woman. She looked pretty good for her age, they had to admit, but still, why would he spurn their young, healthy and flawless bodies for someone obviously at least as old as he was? Their young minds - still inexperienced in true, profound love - were unable to comprehend that anything other than physical attraction could be important in a relationship.

"I think you should start studying for the history exam next week, Kathy," the girl who had offered Tony the cheesecake elbowed her friend in the side. "You stand no chance against that woman. Have you seen her eyes? She wants him, and she obviously can charm the pants off him." She wasn't able to hide her Schadenfreude completely, for the way Kathleen had pushed aside her two friends in order to win Tony for herself hadn't been very nice.

"Yeah, you can say that again! The way she made mooneyes at him. At her age, ... so embarrassing!" Kathleen rolled her eyes.

"Well, you can't deny she's got class. That was a Louis Vuitton handbag! And did you see that diamond ring on her left hand?" Angela wasn't wearing her wedding band anymore, but had kept Tyler's engagement ring. "She must be loaded. Way out of your league, Kathleen!"

"Phhhh," Kathleen let out, looking after Angela and Tony strolling away. Had she been able to overhear what the two of them were talking about, she'd still consider Tony a promising target.

"What was that all about, Angela?" Tony wanted to know.

"This girl wants you! Did you even realize that?"

"Come on! I'm her teacher, and could be her father!" Tony replied.

"Young women fall for mature men, as long as their handsome and in good shape. They are like father figures to them," Angela explained the female way of thinking.

Tony had been surprised by the way Angela had interrupted his chat with his students, but now he gladly picked up the thread she had unwittingly laid out for him. "You think I'm handsome and in good shape?"

"Uhumm," Angela cleared her throat. "Don't get conceited, but ... yes, you're in good shape."

"And handsome?"

"Yes, and handsome." Angela gave in. It was true anyway. He was handsome. She had always considered him handsome. So manly, so Italian. At the age of 57 he was still muscular, his belly was flat, and his hair remained full with a bit salt-and-pepper.

"So why did you cut in? Do you really think I would've gone to that 'Kissing Booth'?"

"I once swore to myself to never lose out again to a Kathleen."

"Oh! So you felt threatened by one of my students?" Tony raised his eyebrows and frowned. That sounded too good to be true. Could Angela really feel that she had to fight for him?

"I wouldn't call it threatened," she more assured herself than him, "I rather rescued you from the girl's clutches."

"You rescued me? Didn't you think I could do that myself?"

Now Angela was a bit uncomfortable. This conversation was turning into a direction she didn't want it to. "Maybe you could, but I wanted to help you."

"Help me? I see, ..." Tony couldn't keep a grin from appearing on his face. "As my friend, I suppose?"

"Yes. Sure. As your friend. That is what we are, isn't it?"

"It is, Angela. It is," Tony replied with a pounding heart. If this wasn't a sign that her feelings were becoming more than purely platonic, he didn't know what was. For many years, he had wished for a second chance, and right now for the first time in ages, he had the feeling he might get one. He put his hand on Angela's back and guided her through the crowd. "Come on, I'll show you the rest of the campus."

* * *

Tony and Angela were sitting at the kitchen table in Tony's apartment, both with a tea cup in hand, a plate with the remaining crumbs of two brownies and a cheesecake in front of them. They had left the flea market shortly after his conversation with the 'Bothersome Three' because the place had become too busy and loud to Angela's liking. On this particular day, she didn't want to have so many people around. Only Tony. No one else. Just Tony.

"Thanks for dragging me out of New York, Tony. I had a good time at your flea market. Much better than if I had stayed home alone. I wouldn't have made it through the last year without you. I can't thank you enough." Angela's voice broke and she was close to tears.

"Hey, that's what friends are for! And by the way, you can be really proud of yourself, Angela. I only supported you, you did most of the work yourself. You're a very strong woman. You never let your grief get the better of you, you always kept your faith in life. That's a great achievement, for it's nothing which drops in your lap, you have to work hard for it. Believe me, Angela, I know how hard it is. I wished I would've been this strong, ... for Sam."

Angela felt a lump forming in her throat because of Tony's complimentary words. He was right. It had been hard work, but she knew it was worth fighting herself back into life. She believed that it still had something in store for her. There were so many beloved people in her world she wanted to share her life with. Jonathan, her son who made her so proud. She wanted to see her grandchild grow up and dance at her wedding one day. She loved Samantha and every member of her family as if they were her own. And last but not least: Tony.

Ever since he had entered her life, he had enriched it. Even in their darkest times, after he had broken up with her, she had never regretted a single day. She had never relied more on a person than on Tony; not on her parents, not on Michael, and not on Tyler. Her relation to Tony was exceptional, and she dreaded the day that he eventually vanished out of her life.

"So, are your done with the brownies?" Tony interrupted her gloomy thoughts, and Angela silently thanked him for it.

"I have to be honest, Tony, but these brownies taste a lot better if you make them. There must be a secret to the recipe you didn't tell whatsherface." Angela mumbled, chewing the last bite.

"No, there isn't. But mine are made with love." He left this remark without any other explanation, although he would've liked to add, 'especially if I make them for you.'

Angela smiled and nodded understandingly, "Okay, this is your secret then."

"Yes, it's a secret," he answered, but wasn't alluring to his recipe anymore.

Angela looked at him so sweetly because of his mysterious words that he simply couldn't help it. He shoved his chair very close to hers, so close that he was able to look deeply into her eyes. Then he cupped her face with both hands and kissed her, gently touching her lips with his and intensifying it once he felt her soft, warm mouth on his. He had longed for this for such a long time, always restraining himself because she was off limits as long as she had been married to Tyler. And after his death, it would've been completely inappropriate to make a pass at her. But now, a year after his passing, and since they had become even closer than they had ever been before, he eventually gave in to his desire to kiss her.

Tony indulged in the sensation. He closed his eyes and let the warmth of her kiss spread out through his entire body; it was as if a fever had appropriated him. His skin prickled, and his stomach was doing flip flops. Angela, for her part, didn't reciprocate at all, which made Tony fear he had overstepped a border. But in this very moment he didn't care, he just enjoyed being so close, so intimate, ... once again, after all these years. When he pulled back, he left his hands on her cheeks for a little while longer and stroked her soft skin with his thumbs.

Angela stared at him. She hadn't expected anything like this at all.

"What was that?" she asked Tony, who only shrugged his shoulders and replied, "A kiss", being totally aware that this wasn't a good enough explanation.

"I know what it was," Angela answered, a bit annoyed about his nonchalant reply, "but ... this wasn't a friend's kiss." The emotions Tony had put into the kiss hadn't gone unnoticed by her. She had been kissed many times by him and had received a variety of kisses, but this had been exceptional and unexpected, for it had been full of love.

"No, Angela", Tony finally admitted, "it wasn't a friend's kiss." He took a deep breath. He knew he had to tell her about his emotional condition; he didn't want it to be a secret anymore. She had to understand why he had done this, but he was also apprehensive that her feelings for him might be of a completely different nature.

"I love you. I've always loved you." He looked into her eyes to see how she reacted to his confession, but nothing could be read in them, so he continued. "I tried to fall out of love with you after we broke up, I really did, but ... I simply couldn't." Her incomprehensible stare seemed to transfix him and he wished he hadn't brought up the topic, but there was no going back anymore. 'Say what you have to say, Micelli. For once in your life voice your feelings for Angela honestly and openly,' he pushed himself. "I treasure our friendship, and if you hadn't rekindled it with me back then, I would have been lost, but if I'm honest, and I guess you want me to be honest, it was hard for me not to be allowed to love you." He again waited for her to react, but her face was like a stone mask. Tony couldn't tell what his words brought about in her, so he simply went on explaining. "These last years, and especially the last one, have brought me even closer to you. I almost feel like a part of you, Angela. All I want to do in my life is to be near you. You once said that our love had been nothing but a phase in our relationship, that friendship is more important than romance. As much as I agreed with you at that particular moment, I'm not so sure about it anymore. I guess our friendship is so intense that the passage to love is fluid, because I can't remember when it actually happened. All I know now is that I wish for nothing more in my life than to be allowed to love you again."

Angela didn't say anything. Her face was frozen and didn't tell him much about what was going on in her mind. All he could read from her face was her surprise about what he had done and said.

"Did I offend you that much, Angela, that you're not saying anything?" Tony asked, a bit insecure and anxious.

Angela didn't answer him right away, but what she eventually said made Tony relax a little. "Oh Tony, it's never offensive to be told that you're loved." Her eyes began to shine and a slight friendly smile showed up on her face. "I'm only surprised, that is."

"Are you? Really? Didn't you realize yourself that we were becoming closer and closer over the last months? We spent so much time with each other, talking about life, death, ... and love. You stayed at my place, I stayed at yours. We cooked together, watched movies, took long strolls, babysat our grandchildren. We laughed and we cried together. The only thing we didn't do was kiss and ...," 'make love' had almost slipped out of his mouth, but he bit his tongue just in time. "I don't think two people can be any closer emotionally than you and me. What if this is meant to be the final phase in our relationship? If the circle is completed now? If we were meant to be together after all?" He fired his questions at her like bullets out of a machine gun.

"It would mean that we missed many years," Angela said ruefully, in a low voice. "We could've been together since the late 1980s, if we had decided otherwise instead of stubbornly insisting on being only friends. We'd be a married couple for almost 30 years now, with children of our own, grandchildren. With hundreds of beautiful moments we could have shared and a life together we could look back upon." This was a thought which had seeded itself incessantly into her mind lately. It was a thought full of regret and remorse. Of course she had noticed Tony's magnetic pull once again, and she had more than once wished to be connected to him not only emotionally but also physically. The way he had made love to her when they had been engaged had always uplifted her, had given her a feeling of being alive and cherished. But giving in to that desire now would also mean that she had been wrong in stating that their friendship was more important to her than their love. And that kept bothering her, for she asked herself how many other wrong decisions she had made regarding their relationship. Beginning at the age of 13, when she hadn't dared to tell him her real name.

"Hey-ho, ho-hey, Angela! We did share hundreds of beautiful moments, if not thousands! And we do have a wonderful life together we can look back upon! Our relationship is so full of events I'm grateful for. I bet there are a lot of people who wished they had someone remotely as close in their life as the two of us have. And life's not over yet. These are our golden years, Angela! Healthy and zestful, well settled in our careers, retirement not too far ahead of us, no teenage kids to worry about anymore, only grandchildren to spoil, ... and having a wonderful person to be with. What else can we ask for?"

Angela listened carefully. Was he right? She knew that she had a tendency to overanalyze things, to call into question the decisions she once had made or was about to make. She had relied on him many times to guide her, to take her by the hand and show her how to enjoy life. Why not trust him with this? She didn't have anything to lose, did she? Only a wonderful future with him, the love of her life.

"You're right, Tony. There is nothing else we should ask for."

"There isn't? Are you serious?" Tony didn't realize what she wanted to tell him with her last words, that they were meant as words of consent.

"No, and yes."

"Huh?" His mind was in complete disarray now.

"No, there isn't anything else to ask for, and yes, I am serious." Angela couldn't help but grin about him being thick as a brick. "Do I ask too much of you with my replies?" she teased.

"No, no. You don't!" Tony nervously stroked his hair. He had wished for nothing else than Angela agreeing to his line of logic, but now that she did, he had no idea about what to say or do. "Uhm, ... okay, ... what next?" he stammered clumsily.

"How about you kiss me again?" Angela prompted.

"That sounds like a good idea," he said, thankful for her suggestion.

With this he pulled her close and looked deeply into her eyes. He wanted to enjoy the moment he had waited for so long. ... He tucked a strand of her blond hair behind her ear and smiled lovingly. Time meant nothing to him now. If he could break his watch and make the fingers stop moving and the hours passing, he would do so. He wanted this moment to last forever, for he knew that there would never be a deeper, happier, more significant one in his life. They had reached the final stage of their journey which had started on an ordinary September morning, with him standing in front of her door, applying for the job as a housekeeper. After these last years of being only friends they were about to become lovers once again. And this time, he'd definitely do it right. He wouldn't screw it up like he had done the last time. This time he would hold on and never let go of her.

Tony's kiss made Angela feel light and blithe like she hadn't since Tyler's passing. He had made her feel good on numerous occasions, had pulled her out of the shell she had withdrawn to after she had lost her husband. But there had always been this gloomy undertone within inherent sadness, which had made it hard for her to see the beauty of life once again. But now, when he took her in his strong, protective arms and looked at her so lovingly with his warm brown eyes, she was able to leave behind the sorrow and grief of Tyler's sudden dramatic death. She felt free to dive into a new part of her life, for she knew that her late husband would've wanted her to be happy. And Tony was the only man who could make her happy. He was the only one she could ever consider taking Tyler's place in her heart; and in her life. It felt like coming home after an exciting but very strenuous and exhausting journey. She could just let herself fall into Tony's arms, knowing that he would protect her, look out for her, and love her. It was such a soothing feeling.

Their kiss was tender, yet passionate. Cautious, yet insistent. Insecure, yet daring. For how long it lasted, neither of them could tell. Angela wrapped her arms around Tony's waist, and Tony held her as closely as he could. Words were superfluous between them; they understood each other just by the way they kissed. Eventually, Tony pulled back. He felt the urge rising within him to be even closer to her, to fully connect with her, and to feel as if they were one.

"Let me make love to you, Angela," he whispered into her ear between kisses.

She looked at him, stunned. Not that she didn't feel the physical desire within herself, but 'self-conscious Angela' got the better of her. It had been more than 15 years since they had last been in bed together. She had been insecure about her body then, at not even forty years of age. Now, she was 58, a senior citizen almost, and more than ever uneasy with letting a man see her uncovered body, especially a man who had seen it when it had been young, toned, and flawless. It was one thing to grow old with a lover, as she had done throughout her ten years together with Tyler, but undressing in front of Tony, who himself didn't seem to have aged one bit, made her nervous. Good for her that Tony knew her so well and had an idea about what was going on in her mind.

"Don't be afraid. It'll be wonderful, I promise. I know it's been quite some time since we last made love, and we're not the same people anymore. We've changed, our bodies have changed." He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "But I know you're still beautiful, you'll always be beautiful to me. There's a beauty which is independent from age. It's established within a person's soul, and that's where I'm looking for it, nowhere else. Aaaand, ..." he breathed a tickling kiss behind her ear which made her shiver, "I still know where your most sensitive spots are."

"Mmmmm," Angela closed her eyes and moaned.

He took her hand and guided her to his bedroom. "We already shared this bed twice, Angela. Remember?"

"Of course. When Tyler had passed away, and I didn't dare to sleep alone. And on the day I came to you to repair our friendship and couldn't drive home because of a thunderstorm. Poor Tyler, he was so worried that I was doing more than renewing our friendship."

"He should've known you better. You're not the kind of woman who cheats on her husband."

"No, I'm not, but not only out of a sense of honor, ... I truly loved him, Tony." Angela set that straight not only for him. It was also important to her to assure herself about how sincere her love to Tyler had been, now that she was about to share another man's bed.

"I know you did, Angela. That was what made me stay on the sidelines. I didn't want to interfere because I knew you were happy with him. I even was grateful that he cared for you after I left you. We had some good talks, did you know that?"

Angela was utterly surprised. She had noticed that the relation between her former fiancé and her husband had eased a bit, but that they had met and talked with each other had slipped her attention. "No, I didn't know. What did you talk about?"

"You," Tony told her matter-of-factly, one eyebrow raised.

"Me?" was Angela's overly perplexed reply.

"Of course you! What did you think we would be talking about? The weather? Baseball?"

"Tyler wasn't interested in baseball at all," Angela explained.

"I know," Tony chuckled, "he knew less about baseball than you!" He laughed and only when Angela gave him a chastising look did he continue. "He asked me how he could get you to work less."

"You can't be serious!" Angela was flabbergasted now. She had fought several times with Tyler about cutting down working hours. He had been managing director of the family business, with several family members at his side to run the company. Like his elder brother, who had once decided to assign a considerable marketing account to The Bower Agency. He had always been able to rely on others to take over some of his tasks and duties, if he wanted to have some time off to spend with his wife. Contrary to that, Angela had been founder and president of her own business, a business she had started from scratch and not inherited from her father. She didn't have a brother or cousin or uncle to hand over her responsibilities to, if her husband wanted her to go on a short-term long weekend with him. Tyler had often asked her to put her vice presidents in charge more, but she had always been reluctant to do so. Not because she hadn't trusted them, but out of a sense of responsibility for her staff. She had known that her employees were dependant on her; family men, who had a bunch of children to feed, older people, who wouldn't find another job so easily, or young professionals, who had been eager to work for her agency to improve their curriculums vitae. Her frequent inability to leave behind her agency had led to many marital arguments. What she had never known was that her husband had sought advice from Tony. "What did you tell him?" she wanted to know.

Tony shrugged. "That it is almost impossible to get you to work less. That I tried many times and only succeeded very seldom. That you need your work like you need oxygen to breathe. I think he finally understood." Tony remembered the afternoon Tyler had shown up at his office at Montclair College. He hadn't believed his ears when his secretary had told him that a Tyler Rolland was asking to see him. The conversation, tense and uneasy at the beginning, had ended in a midtown bar with the two of them getting to like each other.

"You're right. He did. I always wondered what made him give in eventually. I never would've guessed it was you who had convinced him." Angela shook her head in disbelief. What kind of a friend Tony had been! He had tried to resolve the tension between Tyler and her. If he had always been in love with her, like he had just told her, he could've also tried to split them up. But he had done exactly the opposite. A wave of love for this man washed over Angela. She admired Tony for his truthfulness and altruism.

"I can't believe you did this," Angela whispered.

"Did what?"

"You swept what was hampering my marriage out of the way."

"I wanted you to be happy. I made you sad when I left you and Tyler cheered you up. So it was his turn now, and it was my damn obligation to not butt in."

Angela stared at Tony, still not being able to fully comprehend the amount of the friendly turn he had been completing during these years. It must have been terribly hard for him. Because she didn't know how else to show him her gratitude, she stepped close and placed a soft kiss on his mouth.

"What was that for?" Tony asked.

"For being the person you are," Angela explained.

"I'd call that a good enough reason." He grinned. "How about we share some more kisses for _you_ being the person _you_ are?"

And so they did. Rather than hot-blooded, passionate kisses, they shared gentle, tender, and sensitive ones. They weren't a like a lovey-dovey teenage couple, crazy about each other, driven by hormones and lust. Rather they were mature, sincere, and held deep, true affection for one another. Nobody could deny the physical attraction one exerted on the other though. So their kisses slowly but inevitably lead them to a more intimate touch and a growing lack of restraint. Even Angela, who still was a bit tense about being in Tony's bedroom, and sitting on his bed exchanging caresses, felt her self-consciousness fall off of her as if she were a snake casting her skin. When Tony began to undo the buttons of her knitted cardigan in unhurried anticipation, Angela began to relax and entrust herself totally to Tony's hands. He brushed the garment off her shoulders and kissed her now bare skin. Angela felt his warm, soft lips on the hollow of her neck, which gave her such a soothing feeling that she couldn't help but sink backwards into the fluffy pillows of his bed.

Tony remained sitting upright next to her and stroked her hair. "Are you okay with this?" he asked. He didn't want her to do anything she wasn't ready to do. They had been passionate in bed and happy to try out new things during their first love affair, but today they weren't as young and hungry anymore. They just wanted to enjoy the other's affection and proximity. "Yes," Angela answered him with a breathy voice, "very much so."

They helped each other out of their clothes, never losing eye contact, and when they were finished, they huddled together under Tony's big duvet. Angela laid her head on Tony's chest and wrapped her legs around his. He stroked her back with one hand and intertwined his other with Angela's, which was resting on his chest. If they had stayed like this just a little while longer, they might have fallen asleep, but Tony finally shifted his body and laid on his side, propping up his head. Looking deep into Angela's eyes, he let his index finger travel all the way from her cheek, along her jaw line, down her neck, across her shoulder, down her upper arm, then her lower arm, until he placed his hand on her hip. Angela inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. An appreciative sigh slipped out of her mouth.

"I still know how to make you feel good, don't I?" he grinned mischievously, very satisfied with himself. Of course he hadn't forgotten how to make her enjoy his love making. He still was the same attentive, considerate, and unselfish lover as before; a bit less energetic and daring maybe, but not less sensitive or giving. "Uh huh," was all he got as an affirmation.

"This feels so right, Angela. There's no place on this earth I'd rather be at this very moment than right here with you in this bed! We belong together, not only emotionally, but also physically." He looked at her for approval and could read it in her eyes when she gifted him a glimpse so full of love and devotion that his heart almost burst. Now that he was sure that she wanted it as much as he did, he softly rolled on top of her and fully connected with her in a slow, fluid movement, still holding Angela's glance. With fluttering eyes she inhaled deeply. She was surprised by the sensation and a girlish "oh" escaped her mouth. Tony was startled when he saw a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"Are you crying?" he asked compassionately, "Did I hurt you?"

"No," Angela whispered weakly, "not at all. I'm wonderful. It just makes me feel so whole, as if we're melded together in one piece." It seemed to Angela as if she had needed him her entire life, needed him both emotionally and physically.

"We are, Angela."

Angela clutched her arms around Tony's torso, and they remained motionless, becoming completely absorbed in the sensation. It wasn't a sexual desire they were satisfying, but rather an emotional need they were fulfilling. They both realized that they had completed their journey, that they had reached the final destination, and that was being together, not as friends, and not even simply as lovers, but as soul mates. And then, suddenly, out of the blue, without any prior notice, they were pushed over the edge simultaneously without having moved one bit. It was more an emotional orgasm than a physical one, but equally overwhelming and satisfying.

"Oh wow," Tony exclaimed, "What was that?" he said while rolling off her body and letting himself fall into the pillows, trying to get the chaos of his body and mind back under control, the last minutes had exerted on him. He had never been together with a woman like this, petrified in a posture, yet exploding in sensual relief.

Angela gasped for breath as well, her heart pounding, her limbs shaking, and her skin prickling. "I ... I don't know!" she stammered, "We've been stifling this for too long, I guess. I feel as if a load has been taken off me. So light and so unburdened, as if a chain around my chest was broken." She stroked his cheek gratefully. "You managed to do that, Tony. You managed to bring back joy into my life, not only recently, after Tyler passed away, but also at the beginning of our relationship, after Michael had left me. I don't even want to picture my life without you being in it."

"I am in it right now," - 'quite literally until a few seconds ago,' Tony thought, - "You don't have to picture it without me," he assured her, "never ever!"

Angela turned on her side and looked at him, as he was still lying on his back in his afterglow, recovering from the late physical activity. Tony had his eyes closed, so he couldn't see the serious expression on her face, but he could hear the anxiety in her voice when she asked him, "What makes you so sure that we're going to make it this time, Tony? We already were in love once, and it didn't work out."

Tony opened his eyes and shifted his body to also lay on his side to be able to face her. "This time it's different," he told her in a deep voice.

"What is the difference? That we're old and grey now?"

He shook his head. "We're not old, and we're certainly not grey! And that's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?"

"This time we won't give up our friendship for love," he told her, and upon her incomprehensible look he further explained, "You do remember our night in that swan boat, don't you? What I said about throwing our friendship in the garbage for being in love with you?"

"Yes," Angela breathed hardly audible.

"That was a big mistake. We shouldn't have done that. Our friendship was far too precious to be thrown away. I recall every word you said the day you came to me to resume our friendship. You said that you had had the feeling we couldn't talk to each other any more when we broke up, that we had lost our ability to confide in each other like friends do, and that this was the reason why our love had failed. And I won't let this happen again this time, Angela. This time, we're going to keep our friendship. This time, we'll be talking about everything that is on our minds. This time, we won't sacrifice our friendship for love, but enrich it with our love. This will be so strong a connection, nothing and nobody will ever be able to separate us again. This is as sure as night follows day." Tony lifted her chin with his free hand to meet her eyes. "Angela Rolland, I'm afraid you're stuck with me for the rest of your life."

"Is this supposed to scare me?" Angela asked laconically, "For it doesn't! On the contrary, ... it's a delightful prospect."

"It is, isn't it?"

"Oh yes, it is!" Angela whispered.

They stared at each other, without moving or saying anything. Not even their eyes were blinking, and Tony held his breath. After some moments of total inertia, both mentally and physically, he shook his head, took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, blowing out his cheeks. "Pewwww, Angela, are we going to be inert and mute like this more regularly from now on?"

Angela suddenly had to laugh, and Tony joined in. "No, I don't think so. Let's call it to the distinctiveness of the moment. It is a very significant moment in our lives, isn't it? Were back together now, I believe. For good, this time." She smiled upon the thought, it made her heart almost burst. "I love you, Tony Micelli, my beloved friend."

"I love you too," Tony replied, once again not moving at all. It seemed as if the significance of what had happened since he had picked her up at her apartment this morning had paralyzed him.

"Are you going to show me in any way?" Angela tried to incite him. That seemed to have woken him up from his current state of inactivity, for he answered her with a vigorous "You bet!", pulled her slim body on top of his and assailed her face with forceful kisses.

The rest of the night was not characterized by any kind of lethargy or speechlessness. Not at all.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

**- for sure, this time -**


End file.
